Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

fall asleep in the shower.

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

bounce when your tip toeing.

Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.