Kill Jb without getting aressted.

When i'm home alone with the dog i have a conversation with the dog, sometimes in my head & sometimes out loud, in the voice that i think the dog would have if it could speak. Then sometimes i realise that i haven't checked if anybody else is home !

When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

make south park refferences every day

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.