I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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get really confused

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When laying in bed I put the covers over my head and act like I'm in different places..caves..tent..etc..

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I scratch and sniff.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Having a deja vu, swearing you've seen something before.

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.