use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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I stare at the paint impasto on the ceiling until I see faces.

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When I pee if there is already some toilet paper there I try to sink it with my pee.

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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Lie in bed at night, imagining things I want to happen in my life while trying to fall asleep.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

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Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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I think about life problems in the shower

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.