I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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I rape small children ;).

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Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.