Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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being super bored at school

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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I hold my breath in elevators

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.