Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

get home from work and masturbate instantly

I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

being super bored at school

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

I repeat (in my mind) the person's name that I want to dream about when I go to sleep

stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

Every once in a while I think 'I know you're reading my mind...' and look about the classroom. See if anyone looks at me.

I cannot stand mosquito's if I am asleep and I hear one I turn my light on so I can find it and kill it and I wont rest until I do

Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

Talks to yourself in your head then replies to yourself out loud nikki

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.