Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Pronouncing 'garage' as 'grozhh'

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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I say my first name every night before I go to sleep because I want it to be the last thing I say before I die.

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Thinking that someone is seeing everything from your eyes while you are using the bathroom, and then quickly looking up to avoid embarassment.

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Rub boogers under the arm rest on the couch.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Run up the stairs like a gorilla because it's easier that way.

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.