I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

I rape small children ;).

Look at a word long enough to not seem like a word anymore, then sounding weird.

Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

Brake for tail-gaters

pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

Avoid as many television commercials as I can

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

Take off the ends of the banana (

I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.