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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.
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-18
Open a new google tab when someone walks in the room, even if I wasn't looking at anything bad.
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+823
to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it
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+1,671
Laughing at a joke that you dont think is funny but everybody else does
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-22
while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.
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+26
When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.
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+1,457
When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.
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+643
I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.
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+236
When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.
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+19
Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.
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-55
I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.
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+16
Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.
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-4
pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out
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+1,559
sometimes, i smell my own farts.
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+165
I sometimes wonder if im the only living person on earth and everyone else is just there in order to affect my existance -Henry
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+1,446
When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!
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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out
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-158
hate Justin Bieber
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-95
Sometimes I think the whole world is set up, and I feel like I'm living in some kind of Truman Show. I even sometimes say "I know you're there" to the moon.
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+437
fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first
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-33
I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap
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-63
When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere
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+835
If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.
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+340
Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.
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+267
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.