When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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when i watch tv and it cuts to break, if i hear someone on the tv tell me not to change the chanel, ill say "u cant tell me what to do!" and then ill change it.

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

Play as both sides on fifa

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.