When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

I think about life problems in the shower

make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

wipe your hands on your pants

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

turn on my reading light when I get in bed just to check if there's a monster.

If I'm walking in the mall and realize I'm going in the wrong direction, I can't just double back, 'cause everyone would think I'm dumb for going in the wrong direction. Instead, I perform a slow U-turn to the other side of the walkway; either that or pretend to get an important text/phone call that forces me to do the quick turnaround. SAVE!

Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

I choose not to post a comment on some subjects because I know there will be a hundred others that will be the same.

Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

Every time I go in a bathroom I have to look behind the shower curtain.

Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.