Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.