Sitting down in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

thumb_up thumb_down +917

I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,011

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

after a shower, try to shake the water off.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -7

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hearing someone singing a song and stopping midway, so you need to finish it.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

I push the door open with my stomach

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +171

Every room I go into I imagine like there's one of those DVD screen savers that bounces off the walls and i try to guess when it will hist a corner perfectly

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.