When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Go on Omegle video chat and worry that you'll see someone you know

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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when i'm in the shower and i close my eyes, i thnk something's gonna be there to scare me when i open my eyes again.

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.