When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Looking at these in school when it's dead silent and trying so hard not to laugh so you won't get yelled at.

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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I dip my pizza crust in soda

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sometimes i close my eyes and i rub them to see psychedelic drawings

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I get creeped out if I haven't looked at a clock in a while and when I finally do it reads 9:11

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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when looking at a reflection of myself, i try to do it as fast as i can before the reflection does something i didnt

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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I have tons of imaginary conversations in my head with people I know, but they never happen. It's worse when something funny happens in the imaginary conversation and I laugh to myself, and if someone notices I can't even say that I was remembering something because I wasn't, it had never happened...

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.