When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Thinking you smell really bad and then putting to much deodorant/perfume/ect and you still think you smell bad. Is this just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When listening to music I imagine myself and people in a movie scene that fits the music.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Tear up when I poop

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Wonder if someone is ever doing the exact same thing you are at the moment.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,426

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

thumb_up thumb_down +83

i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

thumb_up thumb_down +54

When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.