When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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when making thing only you think you do you never read the terms of service

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Attempting to start phychic conversations with people in public

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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I scratch the scabs on my head whenever im bored

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.