When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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I never find things funny unless I'm in a completely silent room, and it is then that I think or see something funny and begin to almost cry of laughter.

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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blink

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.