Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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When on long car rides, I always look out the window and imagine a little man running alongside the car.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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Wheneveri brush my teeth, I make a snarling face.

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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sometimes when I listen to a song while riding in the car I look out the window and pretend I'm in some angsty music video

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.