When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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losing something in the house, looking for it and then for some reason if I can't find it, I look in all the same places again

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when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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blink

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Think about Facebook chats when your offline!? P.S Am I the only one, REALLY!

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When I'm walking on the sidewalks, I make a game of how to walk on the pavement squares so I don't step on a line.

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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Sometimes when my mom is aking me something and then i tell her the truth i start smirking automatically as if i'd be lying because i don't know how to make a serious face

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

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Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

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listen to madonnas new album

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.