Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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When out I like to "people watch."

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

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if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I like to poo while smoking.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.