When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.