I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I dip my pizza crust in soda

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

thumb_up thumb_down -27

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

thumb_up thumb_down +536

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

thumb_up thumb_down -34

whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.