Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I put big spaces in between comments

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

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I talk to my pet when no one is home.

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Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.