- Things You Think Only You Do

When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

Create a little story/scenario in your head abbout someone you like or want to meet, while lying to go to sleep.

Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

Not clicking the Facebook 'like' button on "pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud", because it will show up on your profile, and you think other people will think you're strange.

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

Whenever another person sitting next to me at school doesn't push their chair in when they get up to leave, I do it for them because it looks more orderly.

Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.