wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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penis

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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misread flashlight

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sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

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when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

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I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.