At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I don't like to answer the phone because it is never for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I type a comment here and secretly feel special

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Get scared while I'm doing things on the computer like writing these comments, or other weird stuff because I think there might be a hacker watching my screen.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I control water in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -113

I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

On an one night if I come too fast .je persuade the girl that I have to forget my cellular in my automobile and I get out

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

thumb_up thumb_down +796

Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

thumb_up thumb_down -15

pick your nose and eat it

thumb_up thumb_down -110

while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

thumb_up thumb_down -90

sometimes i close my eyes and i rub them to see psychedelic drawings

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Pretend to listen to iPod, but actually eavesdrop on the people around me.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.