I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

thumb_up thumb_down +289

When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

thumb_up thumb_down +204

I never turn in a complete circle. If I did, I would have to turn around in the other direction to "erase" the first circle

thumb_up thumb_down +285

Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

thumb_up thumb_down +535

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

thumb_up thumb_down +381

reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

thumb_up thumb_down +637

I think about life problems in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +2,430

Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,413

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +239

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +356

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

thumb_up thumb_down +1,415

lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,408

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -185

I cant ride a bike

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.