Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

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Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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You pause while walking around your house when you're home alone because you think you heard a noise, but then realize it was just you walking.

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I stay vigilant while i shower in case killer/zombies come into my house..

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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After I flush the toilet, I run out of the bathroom really fast.

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when i have to go down stairs at night, i have to sprint up the stairs in case there are ghosts/monsters never dangle my feet over the bed in case something tickles/touches them

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Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

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Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.