After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

??2????????????????????

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.