Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Reading the things people post on here and realising your not as weird as you thought.

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When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

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Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When the hero of a movie is drowning I hold my breath to see if I would survive.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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While listening to songs, your always thinking of a situation to go along with it.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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While walking past someone thats wearing sunglasses you stare at them and wonder if there staring a t you aswell

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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When I'm driving through traffic lights that are green, I use my psychic powers to make them change so no one behind me gets through.

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.