Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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Read through all these posts and get all excited when you see things that you thought only you did

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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Go to get a drink and by the time you get there you already forgot what you were doing.

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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Imagine that other people can see what im doing, then try to act differently.

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My parents are annoying.

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.