"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.