Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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When pooping I always fold my TP before. Anyone else do that? I also always have 4 squares each XD Email me if you do it :P mr.michaelgiorgio@gmail.com

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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When eating chips/cereal (out of the box)/any small snacks I put an even amount in my mouth and divide them evenly on each side of my mouth and chew them like that.

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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really wonder why there is so much talk about pooping and farting on this site

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I dance and sing along to any commercial.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.