Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

thumb_up thumb_down -45

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

thumb_up thumb_down -27

draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

thumb_up thumb_down -6

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When I watch porn,I sometimes pause the video and start looking something random. e.g. an unrelated article on Wikipedia.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Shake my hands frantically back and forth when watching the microwave count down or the printer print, as if it will make them go faster.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

thumb_up thumb_down -101

I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.