Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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When I'm watching a youtube video, I worry about how much time is left because I'm concerned the video maker won't wrap it up in time before the video ends.

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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When I see someone I know walking toward me as I'm walking toward them from a long way away, I pretend I don't see them until we're right on top of each other, then, miraculously discovering them, I smile and say, "Hi".

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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Show desktop when mom or dad walks in.

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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i make loud noises so before i fart people cant hear it.

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I like to record the audio from TV shows and movies onto cassette tapes from my stereo, and listen to them on my Walkman while I'm working in the kitchen or around the house.

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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suck my own penis

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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When looking for something you need, just walk in circles around the house until it appears.

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.