Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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Picking my nose.

I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.