After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Sometimes I beat box when I am alone.

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??2????????????????????

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Hot in bed? Stick one leg out and then wrap it around the top of the duvet

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Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

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Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

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When no one's looking, I run up stairs on hands and feet.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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when I need to do a number 2 in a public toilet I put toilet paper in there first so my neighbours cant hear it.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.