I walk into a room and forget why I'm in there.

When tapping, I always have to do the same pattern of taps, and I feel incomplete if I don't finish the pattern I started.

I never turn in a complete circle. If I did, I would have to turn around in the other direction to "erase" the first circle

Make pictures on the bathtub wall using the clump of hair from the shower drain.

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

reading the back of the cereal box when eating cereal

I think about life problems in the shower

Someone waves at me and I wave back...and then I realize they were waving at someone behind me.

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

I cant ride a bike

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.