wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

penis

I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

Get freaked out when door bell or phone rings when you are doing something you are not supposed to.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

in my eyes all my friends have an easier life than myself. their exams are easier, their teacher are cooler...

before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

misread flashlight

sometimes i sing and when i do , i make drum sounds with my teeth and you know, all that stuff

i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

worry about other people hearing you pee when your in the bathroom.

when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.