jack off

when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

Take off the ends of the banana (

I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

I can see a magic eye image

When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.