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I daydream about what would happen if my phone rang in public and I had a ringtone of a cool song and what people think about the song and if they think I'm cool for it, or if they see some sort of symbolic meaning in the song. I do this while pacing around my room listening to the song. I think about what people I know would think about certain lyrics in the song. I do this all the time.

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watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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When standing on the beach, I try to command the waves to stop.

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When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.