I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

Look at the clock, then instantly forget what time it is and look again.

I always try to play it cool and act like it’s no big deal. But I always have a mini anxiety attack before actually stepping onto a moving escalator. It is a task trying to time my step perfectly where my foot isn’t hanging off a step and I have to hurry my second foot on there isn’t an awdward space of steps between my feet. -Ikka

i would air drum even if theres no music playing

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

Absentmindedly rub your stomach while lying down watching or reading.

Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

when i realise for example that my shoes are stinking i get really paranoid and try to cover them under the table or something because i feel that everyone is thinking about it or is covering their nose or stuff

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.