When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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when you can't think of anything to type you just type random letters. a;lsdfj;ldfkjsfasdfljf

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

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sometimes, i smell my own farts.

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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When bored, I often fold pieces of paper to make a little point and poke my fingers/hands with it.

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When I loose something , I buy a new one, then continue to find the old one the next day.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.