When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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I sometimes wonder if im a baby and my whole life is just a big dream

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Make the water from your shower shoot from your finger and pretend to be a water-bender.

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incognito mode on google chrome

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I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

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get caught up in youtube comment arguments

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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During an assembly, I try to be the last one to clap/ stand up/ sit down.

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Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.