jack off

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Has anyone else ever wondered why the women in shows and movies lie with the blanket covering them after apparently having sex with the other person.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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I can see a magic eye image

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When I eat potato chips, I lick each side to make sure the really salty part is down.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.