Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

saying long strings of unconnected words in your head and wondering if you just said something that noone else ever has

Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

I constantly talk to myself.

Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

I refuse to forward chain letters

I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

I eat ass

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.