Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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Get turned on lookin at my own butt

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I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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When listening to awesome music I perform a subtle headbanging motion.. Then I look around to see if anybody is staring at me like I'm retarded.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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I try to accomplish things while waiting for the timer on the microwave can go off.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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When ever a door is about to close I always try to put my hand between the door and stop it, but it gets to small and I get scared.

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When a lot if people are yelling at me / disagreeing with me all at once, I start laughing.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.