That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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When out I like to "people watch."

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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I like to poo while smoking.

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Hang something small in front of the webcam, in case someone is secretly watching me.

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Look at my eyes really close in the mirror and turn the lights off, wait, and then back on just watch my pupils change size. PS: Really? No way - I could've sworn I was the only weirdo who did that!

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Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I put big spaces in between comments

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.