mentally scolding yourself for thinking something dirty just in case the person you're thinking about can read your thoughts

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If I have a black surface I scratch my dandruff onto and make a dandruff galaxy.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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Pull the curtain right to the end so there are no gaps just in case some weirdo at night decides to look in my window.

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Force a piss out really hard because you're in a rush.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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R A P E Children

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.