I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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When I walk into the bathroom and the lid of toilet is closed, I always get slightly nervous to lift it up and see into the toilet. I'm always thinking there'll be something disgusting or scary in there.

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Check the time on my cell phone, put it back in my pocket. Dammit, didn't see the time. Check it again.

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I listen to songs from my culture like Ella Ella, Taboo, or Sexy Robotica by Don Omar or other fun dancing songs, super loud and dance crazy and sing along as loud as I can. Any one else?

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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After texting someone, check your phone repeatedly to see if they responded

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Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.