always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Spell Checktells me I spelt something wrong even though I am certain it's right.

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I scratch and sniff.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Give a 'thumbs up' or a 'thumbs down' based strictly on how much you like the number it will change it to.

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im going to rape that girl

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.