I **** with no hands.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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i smoke weed all day.

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feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

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getting a random wedgie when everybody is looking at me

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Think that the shirts and bras that the girl you like should have never ben invented for that one specific person

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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I really don't know what to do when i see a double post on here. I mean, i get that people like to do stuff with their feet when their in bed, but somehow al lot of these people do not find it enough to vote up an existing post.

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I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

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While peeing, I will sometimes flush the toilet mid-stream and see if I can finish before it flushes all the way.

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

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sit in the shower

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.