Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Constantly check your post on here to see if other people give it a response.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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When bored in class.. I catch eyes with someone across the room and look away fast, then act "cool" for the next 10 minutes because I still think they're looking at me...

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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make south park refferences every day

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.