i eat choclate buns on easter for breakfast lunch and dinner.

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Think up a come back three days after it would have been useful.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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If you see someone singing in a car, then search on the radio stations to find the matching song to the the miming you see.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Get worried i'll sleeptalk about the things I'm thinking about and someone will hear, so stop thinking about my deep and personal thoughts i think about before going to bed.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.