when no one is home I grab my sisters boobs she has big ones I mean it.

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Sometimes I toot.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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Sometimes I wonder if my whole life is a hallucination and I'm actually in some padded room somewhere, talking to myself and staring into space while my real family mourns the fact that their daughter will never be able to live a real life...

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When in class, hoping that I do not get boner right before bell rings/called up.

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Mispronounce a word that you have a billion times before because you couldn't figure out what it said for a second.

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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When I'm laying in bed, I make sure that my feet are covered and not hanging off the edge so that monsters don't eat them in my sleep.

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While im showering, I place my hands in a certain position so it looks like I can shoot water out of my fingers.

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suck my own penis

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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I hate being called "buddy".

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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I like to poo while smoking.

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Every time I go in a bathroom I have to look behind the shower curtain.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.