Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Think about having sex with the dog. You wouldn't, but what if you did?

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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I can't help spitting into the toilet when I piss, let it drop out my mouth and hit the water to see if I can get it in the center.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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When I die during an online game I try to cram as much food and drink in my mouth as I can before I respawn. If I have no food I roll all over the bed.

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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I really don't know what to do when i see a double post on here. I mean, i get that people like to do stuff with their feet when their in bed, but somehow al lot of these people do not find it enough to vote up an existing post.

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I pee in the shower.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.