when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -180

I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Write a post and then find that someone else has already said it, but in a different way...wtf I'm really annoyed. And they have more likes too.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down -46

play with a laser pointer and pretend its a lightsaber

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I can't brush my teeth with the toilet lid up.

thumb_up thumb_down +503

I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I like to play with the condensation on the outside of glasses, sometimes drawing in it, or just wiping it all off. I get half-way annoyed when it comes back, until I play with it again.

thumb_up thumb_down +356

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

thumb_up thumb_down -64

I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Try to use my "Brain Power" to pick up things when I am too lazy to get up and get them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Lick my cell phone screen to clean it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

rub the underside of your ear lobe to smell the odd smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I lock the bathroom door even when I'm home alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.