The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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you forget your phone when going to the bathroom, so you search for a shampoo bottle or anything to read or play with in reach.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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Pour a bowl of cereal. Open fridge. No milk. (karky)

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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I wonder do females have morning wood equivalent?

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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When I'm peeing in the urinal, I aim to the side so it doesn't deflect back on me.

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Sometimes when I touch something I have to touch all of the object and with both hands, otherwise I feel incomplete.

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Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.