Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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I Masturbate Daily.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Type in 'things you thought only you did' and find this site. Then smile stupidly and click thumbs up everytime you read something you thought only you did.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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I get angry when people use question marks where they don't belong. QUESTION marks are for QUESTIONS. Not statements or opinions >:( "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion?" X FFFUU- "But whatever I don't care I mean that's your opinion." ?

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being super bored at shool

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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When I climb into bed every night, I always say, "Bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed bed," while shifting until I am comfortablely settled. -Ikka

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.