When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Before posting a comment when you need several consecutive tries to type the words in the box because the lettering is so damn hard to read. But your friend can do it in one try. He got the easy one.

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Taking the little rings off the top of my bottles.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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get home from work and masturbate instantly

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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When its nighttime, you walk around the house with one of your small animals in your arms, like it can protect you from anything

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Aim at shit stains whilst I pee.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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My parents are annoying.

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It's hot but I still have on covers

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it

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after ive done something, or experienced something. when i think back on the days events, i think to myself. "i think ive done that before somewere". i must have a boring existance. its always de ja vu with me.

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.