"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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When home alone, you feel the need to turn on every light/appliance so you won't hear the serial killer who you are sure hides in your basement

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Watch the same movies over and over

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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Whenever I'm home alone, I listen to songs from my culture like Ella Ella, Taboo, or Sexy Robotica by Don Omar or other fun dancing songs, super loud and dance crazy and sing along as loud as I can. Any one else?

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When I'm home alone, turning the TV on so it's not so quiet

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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Being from another country and always thinking in english.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.