I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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I imagine myself dying in the worst possible way more than once a day. I don't know...today, I was driving on a bridge and all I could picture was it collapsing and falling onto me, When I'm lying in bed, I imagine my ceiling fan toppling me.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

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when i am in a long car ride i look out the window and imagine im in a sad music video

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I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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tell everyone that you think that mcdonalds is unhealthy and that you think there food is nasty but in reality you actually love it.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Your mom

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I read the down voted posts

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.