Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

thumb_up thumb_down

I sometimes deliberately missed buses and trains even if I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Always think "what if ghosts really ARE everywhere?" when I'm naked in the shower, or getting dressed, or any other private and/or embarrassing moment. Then get really freaked out and picture 6 people from 1902 watching you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

thumb_up thumb_down

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -115

That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

thumb_up thumb_down -37

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When I have my headphones in, and I'm miming the words to a song in the bathroom pretending that I'm playing a gig. I put the tap on to make sure no one hears me dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Open the fridge every 15 minutes, to see if there is anything new to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +149

I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Think about what you're going to tell your kids about your childhood when you grow-up.

thumb_up thumb_down +182

Sometimes when I'm in the shower, I start kicking the bar of soap.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Sometimes I wonder how food tastes when not drowned in ketchup.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.