When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Hate when you finish a cup of pudding or something like that and you don’t want to get up to put the spoon in the sink so you just leave it sitting in the cup but the spoon is too tall for the cup and it falls over.

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"I'll start tomorrow..." wake up and it has been a year later and I still haven't done it.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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if someone i like or want to impress is around i change the song I'm listening to to something that i know they like or something not embarrassing, just in case they ask me what i'm listening to.

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Go back to the song if I don't here what they sang Kay

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

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KICK THE CAN

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Giving my dog a massage.

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suck my own penis

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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get really confused

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.