When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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When you say something you think is funny but it turns out that it's only funny in your head so once you say it there's this moment of awkwardness and everyone else probably just forgets about it but it haunts you for the rest of your life. ~

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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being super bored at school

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Use more toilet paper than you need, just because you feel like it cleans your ass more.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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After hearing a song, you think, oh i have never heard of that before, and then you start hearing it every single day....

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Pretend I'm much more popular than I am with people who don't know my social life.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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I dip my pizza crust in soda

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wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.