Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

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always picture someone naked even though sometime you really don't want to.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Get so angry you hit a table, wall etc but hit it so hard you feel as though you've broken you fingers and this just makes you even angrier.

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When approaching a stoplight, I evaluate the vehicles in front of me to determine which ones I think will take off faster so I can get behind them.

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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See a persons name a place a word or thing in a book computer magazine etc... and right after hearing the same thing on tv or the radio. Vice versa

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Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

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when i take a shit and smoke i dont throw the cigar in the wc so the smoke wont come to my nose

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.