go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Every time i get a new video game i read the back of the case and the pamphlet the whole ride home

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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I really enjoy self-pity.

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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I can't get out of bed in the mornings unless the alarm clock reads 0 or 5.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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When nobody's home I blast the stereo and sing as loud as I can.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

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put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.