Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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misread dig bick

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Sometimes when im in my bed and trying to fall asleep, i don´t want to open my eyes in case there is a murderer standing before my bed.

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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Every time I see people's bare feet I'm automatically counting their toes to make sure if they have an extra toe or two.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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Am I the only one that thinks of things, and force yourself to not to think about it, then you hear people laugh or go "OHHHH" so you think that you said your thoughts out loud and everyone heard?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.