When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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hate it when the bottom of you foot is itchy because it feels wrong to scratch it.

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Whenever I switch sides on my bed, I feel like when I turn around some scary clown face is going to be RIGHT THERE in my face

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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being super bored at school

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When taking a shower, and standing in the opposite direction where the water is coming fromY

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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log off the internet then think of something and go back on

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Apologizing to things when I drop them and feeling stupid afterwards

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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suck my own penis

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.