I'm really picky about how I earn money

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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think that the NSA is always watching what you do online at any time you are even connected.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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always picture someone naked even though sometime you really don't want to.

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When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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I never read the Terms of Service. I just click "OK"

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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hold my shirt with my chin when i'm peeing.

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Throw mini celabration of clock says 11:11, 9:11 or anything ending in :00

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.