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Clarksonisms
Pointless Inventions
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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.
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-55
eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.
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-65
Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.
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-35
Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel
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-36
When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind
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-17
If I drop a piece of candy on the floor, I have to drop another piece so it won,t be lonely
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-80
It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.
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-16
think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day
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-45
on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.
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-23
Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.
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-10
I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.
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-34
KICK THE CAN
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-24
smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.
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-48
cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient
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+58
I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.
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-38
When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.
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-40
get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast
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+41
when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.
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-42
Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.
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-31
When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.
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-31
I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)
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-89
On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music
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-25
Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.
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-52
Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first
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-16
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.