Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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I refuse to eat cherry starbursts because they taste like medicine.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

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Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Realize you are dreaming and try to wake yourself up.

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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Having gay sex

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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You imagine your future self visiting you and tell you about your life.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Closing your eyes and covering your ears when you think someone is going to throw up.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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When I have a really good dream, and I wake up and realize it was a dream, I try to fall back asleep and re-visit the dream.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.