do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

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Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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I have seen one of my submissions listed under "Quotes from other sites"

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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When I'm home alone, I pretend I'm famous, and pretend I'm doing a television or magazine interview, and answer out loud to questions I ask in my head

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.