Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

thumb_up thumb_down -66

go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Open the microwave at 1 second left to pretend you're on a bomb squad.

thumb_up thumb_down +187

I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -84

When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,504

Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +51

(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When I'm walking I pretend that I'm staying in the same place and moving the world beneath me.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Get my belt loop caught on the door handle,

thumb_up thumb_down -40

trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.