Think about the things you could do if you had the power to stop the time.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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When I am driving, I hate everyone else who is driving.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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I really like taking shits.

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

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Wonder if certain people can read my mind... start thinking weird stuff and try to stop.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

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When walking down a long hallway with someone else at the end, becoming self conscious that your eyes are watering up

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.