Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

Whenever i am watching TV my parents always walk by at the worst part like a sex scene or a dirty joke.

When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

Pretending you're in a tribute band when you listen to a song.

I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

I pretend that my actions are perceived by a past self and they're always astounded by the change I've gone through.

Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

Fear that the CIA is secretly wathing you.

When I'm on Facebook, I flip between someone's most recent profile picture and their first one, just to see how much they've changed.

Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

Look at a word and count the letters by 2's - continue counting the letters over and over by 2's until it comes out even at the end of the word.

While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

Think "When are we ever going to use this in our life?" while sitting bored in school.

Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

I plant my feet firmly when the subway approaches in case a random stranger tries to kill me by pushing me in front of the train.

you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.