When you were in elementary school you thought people laughed at Uranus because it sounds kinda like urine and then wondered why it was so funny; the two only sound remotely alike.

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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pinch your nostrils in between your finger and thumb and rub them back and forth in order to smell the inside of your nose.

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Playing with your phone or remote throwinng it up and down until it hits your face

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sometimes playing on music on your iPod you think people will like even though you're wearing headphones and nobody can hear you

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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worry about your eyebrows sneaking their way up and making wrinkles on your forehead

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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pinch the tip of my dick when I masturbate.

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I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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When I'm reading a story in English class or a book in general but I'm tired while doing so and I'm reading on down the page, if I read a sentence and miss a word or mispronounce a word I MUST go back and re read the entire sentence until I have read it correctly or I feel very weird and panicked.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

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I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.