When I'm home alone, I get paranoid and think that someone is watching me and I try to act cool and funny just to impress them.

thumb_up thumb_down +794

Breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Think that some of the posts here are pretty damn normal and how that means I am much weirder than I thought I was

thumb_up thumb_down -50

When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

jack off

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Think something that you REALLY don't want to think and hurriedly force your mind to change its thoughts.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,627

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Pretending you don't know that much about something because other people might think it would be wierd if you did. Ex: if you you knew someone's exact birthdate and you were discussing it with some one and you where like ya he looks a little older he's probably in his mid 40s or early 50s instead of just admitting you know there exact age.

thumb_up thumb_down -101

I play video games with the controller under the covers.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

smoke marijuana

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

After texting someone, check your phone repeatedly to see if they responded

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.