When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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Turns the bathroom sink water on so no one hears you pee nikki

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Too lazy to exercise. Think to self "I'm gonna work out tomorrow." - instantly feel better about self. Still didn't exercise.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Talk to my cat.

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In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.