Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Erasing the history cache on the computer after visiting an x rated website.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Poop naked.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

thumb_up thumb_down +102

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

bounce when your tip toeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

thumb_up thumb_down

Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.