When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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If I'm walking across a road and a car stops to allow me to pass, I say 'Thank you' even though I know full well they cannot hear me.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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Teacher asks class a question, so I put my head down and pretend to take notes.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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While I am busy working I like to have music playing and while I type I type to the song and its beat

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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Fantasize about being with somebody else when I have sex

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.