Know all the lyrics to a song but then realize you never actually "listened" to the song to see what it's about

I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

when i was i kid i use to do the balloon trick where you rubit on your head then when there is enough put it on a wooden floor and while it's followin me i put my hands out and pretended that i was controlling it

I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Accidentally try to downloade PC software on your mac.

Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

I tell inanimate objects what to do.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.