when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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No matter how complicated your shower is at home, you always find it much easier to work than other people's showers.

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I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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im going to RAPEEEE that girl

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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I let everyone know I'm a lesbian as soon as I meet them, ('cause I wouldn't want to continue talking to someone who hates gays).

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I stop the microwave at 1 second so that one someone else uses it it beeps

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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When I'm eating ice cream in a bowl I stir it until it becomes like ice cream soup.

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Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.