When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

the power to regenerate your appendix

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

I make all the faces on my money face the same way.

Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

whale sperm

When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.