When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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grab my cats tongue when he is licking my hand

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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I make all the faces on my money face the same way.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Answering questions that weren't directed at me, then awkwardly playing it off like they were talking to you.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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whale sperm

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.