Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Change my music to something cooler than the song im listening to when i pass by other kids my age

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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I hit the frig after sex

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.