Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Breathe.

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

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when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.