I hold my breath in elevators

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Accidentally turning the fan on instead of the light when you walk into the bathroom and having a mini-spazz attack because the sound scares you.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

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When in a public bathroom, flush the toilet right before your shit falls into the water, so no one will hear.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.