whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

get bored so I fist myself for money

When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.