- Things You Think Only You Do

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

smoke marijuana

Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

only read the short jokes on this website

Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

Thinking that you're the only person on Earth, and everyone else is there just to affect you.

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

~When you turn around, somebody is already looking at you; something is probably on your face. (I know they look at you because you would look at anybody turning around, but I just hate it)

Put things in the front of the dishwasher 1st cause im to lazy to pull the whole thing out to put anything in the back or the right place.

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

Pretend my life is a videogame.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.