Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

Wondering who would cry at your funeral

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

Breathe.

When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

When I'm walking at night, I put up my hood and grin evilly at passing cars so it'll scare the drivers if they see

Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

when u see a blond, brown,black,or red head girl u think of a blond,brown,black or red head joke -Randi L.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.