I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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Whenever I'm doing my makeup I pretend I'm doing a makeup tutorial on Youtube.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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When I have an argument with someone and they're correcting my grammar over a word that I obviously made up but they're grammar/slash spelling skills suck I want to end them.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When my soap is running low, I add water to it.

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.