whenever there are automatic doors at a store i use "the force" to open them

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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watch raindrops race down a window and see which one wins

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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get bored so I fist myself for money

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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eat chicken, lamb anything with bones with a knife and fork while avoiding using your hands because it makes them dirty

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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When I'm waiting for someone who is late. I go-over in my head how I'm going to greet them. For example "Well, it's about damn time", or "Finally!".

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.