when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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clean my ears with finger if they feel dirty...eat it.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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I click that I have read the Terms of Service although I haven't read sheit

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Hate to type Morals under each one of my posts Moral: A small chick in the hand is better than a huge C**K up your ass. I am pretty sure not even women nor homosexuals want birds up there...Then again, I havent searched for anything like that at the intern... they are eating her! And now they are gonna eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! (fly stuck on head)

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Wanting something so much. Getting it then wondering what to do next

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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working out escape routes for each room in your house when you're alone, just in case

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I prefer to masturbate by putting a fleshlight under my stuffed-toy smurfette's dress and pretend to smurf her.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.