Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I really don't know what to do when i see a double post on here. I mean, i get that people like to do stuff with their feet when their in bed, but somehow al lot of these people do not find it enough to vote up an existing post.

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Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

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When I'm about to go to the bathroom, I think of a million things that I have to do and try to do them all before I pee my pants.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

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when i get pissed off at someone i go to an empty room and then imagine killing them

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Eat or drink something tpretending it's some sort of fuel that'll give you powers.

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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always want to tell my friends the nightmares I had but they don't sound as horrible as they actually were spoken out loud and then get annoyed if their no tike 'OH my god! And what happened next...?'

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.