Breathe.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Pee in the shower

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Squeezing my cat's face back so it looks Chinese.

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Sometimes I unintentionally mouth the words being spoken on TV.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.