I really enjoy self-pity.

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always check thde back seat before starting the car

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Fart and walk away from the stink area very quickly so nobody will know you made it.

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Every time I watch the movie I cry when the babysitter sings that song in the blues bar in the movie "Adventures In Babysitting"

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I have mixed emotions when I drop a piece of food on the ground, like a chicken nugget, M&M, scoop of ice cream, etc - because part of me thinks it is sad because its only goal in life was to be eaten... but then the other part of me is happy for it, because it is possible that it *didn't* want to be eaten and has just made a successful escape. O_o

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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When I'm eating cereal, if some of the cereal gets stuck on the inside of the bowl above the rest I use the side of my spoon to push it down back into the milk.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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only read the short jokes on this website

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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wonder why the word "MORTGAGE" has a T in it?

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.