Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I wonder to myself if other people see exactly the same things as me.

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Being afraid to close your eyes when you're washing your hair in the shower because you think a murderer will be right there when you open your eyes again. That or Scared to shower when your home alone at night.

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In school look at the wall or something and feel like only a few seconds has gone by but really thirty minutes has

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Sometimes I become paranoid that the ceiling is going to randomly come crashing down and kill me.

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Think of a bunch of "things you think only you do" after you leave the site

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.