Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Pretend i'm a sim.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Whenever I'm home alone, I listen to songs from my culture like Ella Ella, Taboo, or Sexy Robotica by Don Omar or other fun dancing songs, super loud and dance crazy and sing along as loud as I can. Any one else?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

If there's leaves on the ground and the wind picks it up and makes like swirls I put my arms out to make it seem I'm controlling the swirls.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

When you accidentally mess up a password, delete the entire thing and redo it since you don't know which part you messed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

in silences, freak, thinking someone can read your mind and tell them off in your head

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Have to take the phone with you everytime to the bathroom

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When looking for something you need, just walk in circles around the house until it appears.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Find it impossible to get rid of the itch on the bottom of my feet or my palms when they're itchy

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.