Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

suck my own penis

thumb_up thumb_down +41

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I try to move inanimate objects/set things on fire/control the elements with my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.