I wonder what would happen if time froze and only I could move. I think about all the things I could do.

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

Wait until there is nobody in the bathroom and then fart really really loud. Also I flip my pillow every 10 minutes so my head is on the cold side. (try it some time)

scripting the blackboard with your fingernails? no problem, but just the imagination of biting on an ice cream stick out of wood and then moving it through your teeth makes me go crazy!

Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

After using the restroom at someone's house I turn on the water and proceed to check myself in the mirror while the water runs and sounds like I'm washing my hands then I turn off the water and walk out.

Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

Not expecting anyone to come over, some one knocks on the front door, mute the TV and hope they just go away.

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

When In the car, use th bug guts to ramp up all of the culverts and when you don't have a landing for a while, pretend that you got a speed bonus and are soaring with some amazing air.-dillon

"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.