I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

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whenever I see those commercials where there is two people talking to each other but they constantly look at me it really irritates me

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

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When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

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Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

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Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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I scratch and sniff.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

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going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.