If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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cringe when I squeeze a cotton ball, ugh

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

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Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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in a grocery store, only walking on the colored single tiles the entire time your in there pretending there small cliffs without touching the white one otherwise you fall and fail.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.