Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.