I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

whenever I see those commercials where there is two people talking to each other but they constantly look at me it really irritates me

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

Saying "ow" even though whatever happened did not actually hurt, but you thought that it would.

When I forget to brush my teeth, scrape off the plaque on my teeth with my fingernail.

Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

I always have to google the name of this website, because I always put the words in the wrong consecution.

Popping your finger in your bellybutton, and then smelling it. You secretly like the cheesy smell.

after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

Sex scene comes on TV while you are watching with your parents... Try to act normal... Fail.

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

I scratch and sniff.

When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Moving my bottom jaw around slightly makes me feel like I have dog-like ears and I'm moving them around.

going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

I brush my teeth while im in the shower

go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.