run inside after taking out the trash because a monster might be hiding in the big trash can

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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when i pass a grave yard, i am compelled to hold my breath

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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*Sees bug on wall while taking shower* *Splashes with shower water* *Bug slides down wall* >_

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When I am bored, I imagine saving my crush' s life and we live happily ever after. :( what an idiot I am

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when im on my phone in bed my phone always falls on my face -.-

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Closed the door to the refrigerator super slow, just to watch the light turn off.

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singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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Looking around in disgust at your messy room and then doing nothing about it.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Fall asleep at night fantasizing about how you wish life situations would play out.

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Pretending I'm in a phone call when I don't want someone to talk to me.

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In my head, my life is some kind of on-going documentary about my life. Sometimes when I'm alone, I conduct interviews.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.