incognito mode on google chrome

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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When out I like to "people watch."

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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When ever I touch something a certain way I have to touch it again exactly like I did the first time

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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I chew my ice cream.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.