having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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think about all of the things you would do if you were the only person on earth

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Attempting to silently sneak a fart, then it erupts from your anus.

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Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

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When I go to the shops I like to park my car next to a specific coloured car so I can find it afterwards.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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Check the shower before you pee to make sure nothing is waiting there to literally get you with your pants down.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

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Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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toilet:a place for reading and going on fb shower:place for singing school:place for sleeping and fuck others.internet:place for shitting brixs.

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I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.