It takes half as long to take a dump if I forget my phone.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Turning on the dryers in the bathroom so no one will hear you peeing

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When I was younger I started doing a weird habit of playing music and spinning around in circles in my room... .. I still do it to this day.

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Before I sing in the car, I always have to make sure I haven’t accidently butt-dialed anyone. –Ikka

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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You do a retarded dance when a song you don't like comes on

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When I'm walking along and just trip over my own foot I look back and pretend to look at whatever it was I tripped over.

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Suck up stuff with the vacuum you know you shouldn't because your too lazy to pick it up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.