Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

thumb_up thumb_down +36

suck my own penis

thumb_up thumb_down +36

When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I apologize, when i bump against things.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Open the fridge, nothing there, close fridge, open again just to make sure nothing has magically appeared

thumb_up thumb_down +312

I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When I sneeze I hold my balls ( only when Im alone)

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

thumb_up thumb_down -74

When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Secretly open a packet of something or spray some deodorant in a shop to check what it looks/feels/smells like. Then put it back and pick up the one behind because you just used/opened the one you were just holding.

thumb_up thumb_down -148

When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Pick my nose with my elbow, that way I keep my nails clean.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.