When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

I fake laugh at peoples jokes when they're not funny to avoid akward moments.

Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

Think the "D" in the Disney logo was actually a "G", and realized that thought process at an age to embarassing to divulge to complete strangers on the internet.

While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

Sometimes I reflexively say "ouch" when I drop an inanimate object and I'm not even hurt.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

Think that the shirts and bras that the girl you like should have never ben invented for that one specific person

that movie-like moment when you want to rush out to dance in the rain

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

Not answer a question or something of the sort Evan if you know you know the answer because you are paranoid that you are wrong.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.