this is a terrible website and i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -102

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I like to create stories and adventures in my head to make reality a little less boring...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

thumb_up thumb_down -54

when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Mayada stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When you get in trouble, think of what you could have said or done so you could've gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

when i m in a car i'll look at the letters on license plates and try to think of words that you can make-or almost make- with those letters

thumb_up thumb_down -7

get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

thumb_up thumb_down -28

do you feel that your normal, but you feel that the people around you are being nice to you because your mentally hanicapped

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Somehow can't find anything good to eat after going grocery shopping... even if you buy Oreos

thumb_up thumb_down -84

When you get lost while driving, the first thing you do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.