whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -88

when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

thumb_up thumb_down -11

While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

thumb_up thumb_down +67

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

thumb_up thumb_down +46

After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,164

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

thumb_up thumb_down +1,605

when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

thumb_up thumb_down +748

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.