I type out something I think is funny, then wonder if people will think I'm weird and erase it.

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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Think about breathing...

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In the car and sad song comes on you look out the window and pretend your in a movie.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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blow nose. look at kleenex.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.