trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

I keep tearing the little piece of skin next to my thumb nail until it hurts - and even if it bleeds I have to get it off.

when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

Fart at home

Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

put a load of loo roll in the loo before taking a dump at work so it silences the landing.

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.