Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it

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Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

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When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.