when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.