I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -60

i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down +33

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two minutes after I text the person I like, I check the message to see what time I sent it and what time the person received it, and estimate that it takes the adverage person about a minute to respond and then another minute for you to receive it. so really, if the person likes you, it would take them about 3 minutes to respond. if its five, you automatically assume they hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I talk excessively loud in public sometimes so people can hear my opinions. I'm just hoping someone's eavesdropping because I like the fact that they might agree with me and that they get to see a little bit of who I am. I don't even know these people.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sometimes I imagine what it would look like if I was seeing out of another person's eyes across from where I happen to be.

thumb_up thumb_down +907

wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

thumb_up thumb_down +76

At the gym, I always try to do 5 pounds more than the previous person.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I can't brush my teeth and rinse in the sink right after I flush the toilet, for fear of it being connected somehow, and rinsing with my own piss.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Handing something to a friend or someone and all you can think is "...I've fapped with that hand. And they know I have" even though you clean up after you feel like your jizz is gonna be on what you gave them and theyll find out amd think you're disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I think about all of the things of mine people will find if something happens to me

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I tell inanimate objects what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other in the same way just to be fair to both hands

thumb_up thumb_down +753

Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

thumb_up thumb_down -77

When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.