when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

Search up google on bing or yahoo because i feel that google is so much better

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

Instead of scratching my balls with my hand I rub them vigorously on the bed

I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

Being the only one laughing at something on TV, then feeling awkward.

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Cough and shift my feet a lot when someone comes into the public bathroom so they know someone is in the stall and won't walk in on me.

I talk to myself when I'm alone

When nobodys home, stay as quiet as possible just in case an intrudor is hiding somewhere

Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

Start to tell a story, but realize that nobody is bothering to listen to you.. So you slowly let your voice fade off

Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

If I'd see a grizzly bear in the forest I'd probably try to run away even though every sane person says that that's exactly the thing you shouldn't do

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.