whenever there's a fight on facebook, i sit back and read it and i'm just like "people are stupid hehe"

I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

I avoid closing my eyes in the shower in case ghosts/monsters/zombies get me.

When you Sitting on the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

from now on in gonna eat healthier! *seeing chocolate* hm... okay i'll make an exemption today but from TOMORROW on!!!

when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

While lying in the tub the water gets cold so u turn back on the hot water with ur feet bc u are too lazy to get up and turn it on with your hands

I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

When im in a room alone on the computer i like to put on songs and lip sync to them in the mirror with really emotional expressions..

When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

when i eat, i sometimes switch which side of my mouth i chew my food with to even it out.

start planning Halloween costumes on November first.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.