coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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On the train, try and mathematically make (add,subtract,multiply,divide etc.) the carriage number to get to ten

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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calling someone and it rings so long you forget who your calling and when they answer you have to look at your caller i.d to remember.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I want to trade bodies and thought processes with my crush, so we could understand each other better.

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I buy books and never read them and get mad at myself for doing so.

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I click my teeth to music

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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When someones talking to a group of people that I'm in and says something bad that I do but think nobody else does, I stand perfectly still and don't blink and breath as quietly as possible until the next subject arrives.

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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Do sex sensations feel exactly the same for the opposite sex.

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Constantly look at all clocks when the minute hand/digit reads '11'

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

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My hoodie/jacket strings HAVE to be equal in length, or I pull them then restretch the hood out to make them even.

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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.