When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Making "X's" with your fingernail on bug bites to get rid of them.

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Trying to take the same number of steps in a block of sidewalk while you're walking.

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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When you think you don't hear someone, but as soon as you say, "what?" and they start repeating it, you realize that you know what they had said. But then you don't want to be rude, so you let them finish.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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stare at a word and try to sound it out backwards to see if it spells something backwards.

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Walking down stairs. Accidently miss last step. Feel like you're going to die.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.