You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

When in a room with a bunch of people, see the one person who's extremely cute and then get a random boner and think "GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY"

Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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I get mad at characters on tv and i shoot the screen with my Nerf gun

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

I really enjoy self-pity.

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

you spread your cheeks apart when you sit on the the tolet so that your poop does not touch your cheaks

Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

Sitting next to a banana called James

I like to have a picture of my crush on my computer screen, and will walk around a room while he 'looks at me'.

Pick my scabs off and then lick the blood off.

When I'm bored I throw a plastic bag in the air and see how long I can keep it from touching the ground.

Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

RAPE CHILDREN

I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

when your walking past a chain link fence you slide your fingers along it because it feels cool

the time where you sit behind a person that smells like BO badly!!!

See someone walking or in their car driving then imaging what they're doing next or imagine the rest of their life.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.