Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

whenever im getting a haircut, i feel as if the barber can see my embarrassing and private thoughts.

smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

I look behind me and out of my window every 10 minutes while I'm sitting at my desk because I'm scared something's gonna be there.

Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

to wake up from a nice dream than try to sleep again to finish it

Sometimes I imagine how everyone would react if I died.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

When walking on the sidewalk, try to walk the same number of steps on each square without looking awkward. (now, this is sooo weird, I have no clue if ANYBODY has ever done this more than once)

When I'm in the shower i let the water run off my arms and fingers and pretend I'm a giant god of water sending torrents to the miniature people below.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I mouth common words and phrases, just to see what it looks like when I talk to other people.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.