Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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When you trip when your walking you try to play it off like you wanted to start running

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when you get a runny nose suddenly checks for blood oh good its clear

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Having a dream where I am in a sex Ed class and instead of looking at slides experiencing everything firsthand

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When in the shower, try to cross your arms and keep them as high up to your head as you can. Fill them with water and drink from it.

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Take a side of bacon and jack off watching Babe.

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arrange certain social situations with attractive girls just to make spank bank deposits.

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I constantly talk to myself.

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I really don't know what to do when i see a double post on here. I mean, i get that people like to do stuff with their feet when their in bed, but somehow al lot of these people do not find it enough to vote up an existing post.

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I think about other women when having sex

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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I don't thumb down any submissions because then I am just as bad as the people who thumb down mine

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When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

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See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.