When I see interactive ads on webpages ( "Shoot 5 iPhones And Get One Free!" type of windows ), I feel compelled to finish the task, even though I KNOW it's going to open a pop-up and waste 10 seconds of my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +238

you wonder if things look the same through other peoples eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -144

pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

thumb_up thumb_down +920

I act as though I've had movie cameras placed in my eyes and a bunch of people will watch my life as a movie at some point. And so I do a narration voice for them.

thumb_up thumb_down +158

singing along to a song that you think you know the words to.. but you dont

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Put toilet paper in the toilet before i poop so the water dosent splash

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Every time I go in a bathroom I have to look behind the shower curtain.

thumb_up thumb_down +905

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -45

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

When im alone i have a conversation with myself

thumb_up thumb_down +1,520

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

thumb_up thumb_down +413

Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I pretend that I've caught the man in the walk/don't walk sign doing something bad and I stare at him accusingly

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

think your hitting your leg on a chair or desk, really someones foot

thumb_up thumb_down +1

When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.