Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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Blow dry my dick and balls after getting out of the shower.

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I pick my nose n eat it. I love the hard ones

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choose which piece of cereal in the cereal bowl i should eat last.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I piss excellence, shit suppority and whip myself with greatness.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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I dont know weather or not to flush the toilet at night incase i wake somebody, its even worse in other peoples houses.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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I brace myself and close my eyes when I send an email to my teachers or parents.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.