Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Pretend animals talk to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

thumb_up thumb_down -17

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -47

twirl your penis in a cirlce and make the woo woo sound

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.