Laugh harder when trying to explain what you are laughing about

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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when u start laughing then start clapping and look like a seal

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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Check this site often to see if anyone liked my comment or not...

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Feeling sorry for objects to throw away!! Haha anyone els?

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Sit down in a grass field... immediately start pulling up grass.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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get really confused

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.