When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

I lift my butt when I'm farting

I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

Put ear buds in nose, open mouth, instant speaker. If you don't do it try it.

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

I meow when my cat meows.

Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

mindlessly touch my laptop or desktop PC's screen after having just used a tablet.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Picking my nose.

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

forget i left the light on somewhere in the house and when i see it on i think a ghost did it..

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.