thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

I rape small children ;).

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

Play as both sides on fifa

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.