When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

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dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

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When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Change my music to something cooler than the song im listening to when i pass by other kids my age

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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I hit the frig after sex

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Look at my poop before flushing

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Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.