I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

trip over nothing. break into spontaneous dancing.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Courtesy flush.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Putting your bra on your dogs dead

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

thumb_up thumb_down -45

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -26

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

i see almost everything as a sign

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I flip the pillow at night to feel the cool sensation.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,559

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Smoking in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

when going to get a drink, i accidently pull out a bowl, or plate, later realizing what i did, i put it back, and get a cup

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.