watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

Post on this website, then give yourself the first thumbs up to kick-start your success.

When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.