When i need to poop i place toilet paper over the water so it doesn't splash up and hit my rectum.

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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wipe the bottle lid before i drink because i dont whant to taste what the other person had in there mouth...

dont turn my fan up so high cause i think its going to fall and slice me to bits -jesse

When making toast, I stop the toaster halfway and flip the toast like it's sunbathing.

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

Change my music to something cooler than the song im listening to when i pass by other kids my age

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

when you bleed you suck your own blood

I hit the frig after sex

Look at my poop before flushing

Whenever someone is making a speech, I imagine them being taken out by a sniper mid-speech...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.