think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Rapidly click the mouse when your computer is frozen, even though you know it won't do anything to help whatsoever.

thumb_up thumb_down +210

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

thumb_up thumb_down +1,297

When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +996

I used to pretent my legs didn't work and pulled myself up the stairs with just my hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +206

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

thumb_up thumb_down +439

When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I never turn in a complete circle. If I did, I would have to turn around in the other direction to "erase" the first circle

thumb_up thumb_down +285

When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,386

On a calendar search for the picture on your birthday month

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Create a post on this site, and then feel really depressed when I get a ton of thumbs down, even when I give MYSELF a thumbs up.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Reading a book and making the facial expressions it describes.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +332

think something you shouldn't, then stop thinking it, because someone might read your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +1,339

1.Open the fridge...nothing to eat :/ 2.Open the cabinet...nothing to eat :/ 3.Lower expectations..and then repeat :)

thumb_up thumb_down +202

I stand under my ceiling fan, looking up while spinning around to make it look still...

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When taking a shit, I get freaked out in case I get teleported to a place with lots of people by a scientist from the future or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

thumb_up thumb_down +32

For some reason, I smile whenever I'm telling someone bad news or a sad story. I always try to not smile, but it doesn't work and I feel like a terrible person.

thumb_up thumb_down +358

Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.