I don't read the terms of service.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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masturbate quietly in my room.

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Eat goldfish and cheez-its salt side down.

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Remembering that you're breathing and then it stops being subconscious so you have to purposely breathe until you stop thinking about it.

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use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

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when someone mispronounces something I say the correct pronunciation quietly under my breath so it doesn't bother me

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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I very carefully smell what I'm about to eat before I eat it, but I'd most likely eat it, even if I hadn't smelled it first.

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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Sometimes I walk around my house with my eyes closed and pretend I'm blind.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

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sit in the shower

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Hate Skydoesminecraft.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.