When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Going to a friends house for the weekend, coming home and checking the fridge/pantry for new foods.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Touching your nipples at night wondering if anyone else wanted to touch them all day :)

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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I get into a massive fight with my parents, and then do the thing i was told not to just so i can tick them off.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

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must have the tv volume set to an even number or feel weird

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.