you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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Get really annoyed when something interrupts your yawn... then try and force yourself to complete the yawn

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Someone asks a question and you say "what?" and then answer them because you actually heard but didn't realize it.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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Pee in the shower

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when liking something you like or dislike something you click it twice even though you know it will only take one vote

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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I often wonder if people ever talk about me, when I'm away.

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Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

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When I'm trying to sleep and my mind's like, "Hey, know what's a good movie? Paranormal Activity!" Then I can't sleep for an hour - Brayden Everes

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Brake for tail-gaters

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Promise to save money then spends all of it anyway.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.