Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Laying or sitting down in a really comfy position, then getting up to do something, and when you come back you can't figure out the position you just had.

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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when on long car rides look out the window imagineing stick figures running

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Solving your problems in bed before sleeping and then forgetting all of the solutions when you wake up. This applies to games, homework, and world hunger.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Check the lint filter on the dryer every time I walk into the laundry room.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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i eat choclate buns on easter for breakfast lunch and dinner.

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Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Go through funny pictures and memes on Facebook, and then accidently miss one and ten when you click to go back you have to go through like 5 more to get back to the one you want.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.