Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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I tend to stand in front of mirrors and stare at myself to the point of my face changing to a more evil look than normal and freaking myself out, and forcing myself to either look away, or down.

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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Moral: Damn I clicked on pointless super powers how did I get here! Moral: I wrote the "thing only I do" below :P

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Wishing you could go back in time and do a situation over again, becuase you regret the stuff you did.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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when i meet ppl i often think of them as if two other ppl i know had a baby even if they are the same sex.

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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When I've had an argument with someone I'll play it over in my head and come up with new responses. Then, sometimes my reenactment will get so heated that i start yelling my new arguments, and geting even more angry then before.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.