The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

thumb_up thumb_down +321

wonder who wrote these things

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Flush the toilet before you finish peeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

thumb_up thumb_down -125

When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Takes playful flirting way to seriouse.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Pour a bowl of cereal. Open fridge. No milk. (karky)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

thumb_up thumb_down -69

when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Praying to God even though you tell people you're an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.