For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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Sometimes I have a dream in the morning that I checked my clock but then when I wake up Im perplexed when Ive gone back in time -Ethan

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Saying "ouch!" when someone throws something and it hits an inanimate object.. -Sarah

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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Smiling like an Idiot when you get a cute text

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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A bee flies into your classroom and you're too terrified to focus on anything else.

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I hug-squeeze the bread to get all the air out before putting it away.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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I twist my pubes into little spikes when I pee.

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I pretend that someone can see through my eyes whenever I'm doing something cool, i guess so they think I'm cooler or something.

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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I light my pubes on fire instead of shaving them because they aren't as itchy that way.

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I chew my ice cream.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.