watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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Wish that Mexicans would go fix things in their own country instead of coming here unwelcome and demanding things instead.

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In public,try to make eye contact with most people.

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Post on this website, then give yourself the first thumbs up to kick-start your success.

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When at a friend's or another person's house, I pee while standing up. But at home, I always sit down when i pee.

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When I do something stupid and people are around I hope that nobody saw me and I never tell anyone what I did. But if i do something stupid and I am alone I feel I have to tell somebody.

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I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

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Wanting to marry Tyler Joseph but then you remember he's married :(

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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become increasingly panicked when its dark and you cant find the door handle.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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while taking a bath, I imagine my knees, belly, arms etc poking out of the water are islands, and i imagine little people running around on them

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Thinking you could be in a "Truman Show" style scenario and scanning areas of your house and possessions for tiny little cameras and microphones.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.