thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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Yelling my cats name in my mind to see if i can get him to look at me using the power of my mind

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When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

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Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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I rape small children ;).

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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"Turn the tv volume with my feet" "Take a wood stick and think it's a sword"

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Play as both sides on fifa

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Fantasizing about your friends in like 25 years telling there teenage kids about growing up and being friends with you. When you are a huge rich and famous star.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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If a donkey and a angle fish where to pro create what would be the out come? They can't mate a donkeys a mammal and a angle fish is a fish

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Sometimes when I look at something up close, I alternate closing each eye and looking at the object from the other eye, then switch again. I do it really fast to make it look like that thing is moving. It's really entertaining.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I pretend I'm a musical when I'm alone and sing about all the stuff I'm doing.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.