I chew on anything plastic. I don't think there's a pen that I haven't chewed on or a plastic cap I haven't put in my mouth. It's a horrible habit but it feels so DAMN GOOD TO CHEW!

thumb_up thumb_down +194

I think I have superpowers and sometimes I try to use them by force, like lifting a pencil with my mind or elevate from the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +303

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When you tell yourself that this is the last page you'll read and end up reading three more.

thumb_up thumb_down +227

I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Not doing any work Feel guilty about it Then still do no work

thumb_up thumb_down -109

I will look up the definition of a word in a text message before I use it just incase I'm using it in the wrong context.

thumb_up thumb_down +413

use the shower water running of my arms and hands to shoot off random hairs inside the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +357

Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

The longer it takes me to find the light switch in the dark the more frantic and terrified I become.

thumb_up thumb_down +320

Imagine yourself and friends as band members while listening to songs.

thumb_up thumb_down +343

Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +337

I wonder why people were happy after the last election

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Bathroom occupied, piss in the kitchen sink.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

i take words i just read or said and sing them to the tune of a song

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Turning on the TV for background noise when I'm on my computer.

thumb_up thumb_down +313

Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

thumb_up thumb_down +275

I'm in computer class at school right now. I'm supposed to be making up for incomplete assignments. But I have been on Things only you think you do, Funny Exams, DIY Fail, Pointless Super powers, Explain this image, and Perfectly Time Photos all class class period. I just noticed these websites aren't blocked at school.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.