Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

thumb_up thumb_down +32

imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Try to see nipples through body paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Go up stairs two steps at a time. Avoid those stairs forever if there are an odd number and I have to end in a single step.

thumb_up thumb_down +353

Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

thumb_up thumb_down +274

I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When a room is dark and the light is really far away, I close my eyes to feel my way to the lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

fall asleep in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

thumb_up thumb_down

Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

thumb_up thumb_down -149

Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whenever I am in a conversation with someone, be it a family member, close friend, or stranger, I nearly always imagine either starting a random brawl with them for no reason (i.e. punching them in the face) or making out with them or something, neither of which I would ever consider doing. Am I alone?

thumb_up thumb_down +171

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I feel like I'm superman every time I run by the counter in the kitchen and the papers on it go flying off.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.