Liking the smell of your fart and Poo and denying it to people.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I poke myself in the eye with a needle every Thursday.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

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give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

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Always fantasize about grabbing a cop's gun from his holster. Just because I am pretty sure I could.

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When I'm home alone at night, and the lights are on so you can't see anything out the windows, I will stop randomly and stare out the window to make anyone watching me think I know that they are there.

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Waking up from a really bad dream that you thought was real and then thinking about it all day worried that it actually happened

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.