Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Vote for the other guy

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Suppress a sneeze and then walk around unsatisfied.

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Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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Love the Twilight books, HATE the movies.

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Whenever you are in a quiet room and are trying to eat a food that is very loud to chew (like chips) you try to chew slowly or alter your chewing style so noone will think your too loud

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Stare blankly at your desktop when someone walks in the room so they won't know that you were watching porn lol

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Search through the most popular section of this website trying to find my one

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Try to put in USB drive into computer, and no matter what, always ends up trying to put it in upside-down the first time.

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Being afraid to up-vote the embarrassing posts on this page for fear that it might somehow post onto my Facebook.

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.