"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.