"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

Feel like you sing wonderfully when you are alone, but feel like you sing horribly in front of others.

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.