think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Stalk people on facebook, find out something interesting, and later claim that it 'came up on your newsfeed'.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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When your best friend has a certain make/model/color car, you start seeing it everywhere you go.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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I wonder if elections are rigged?

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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Live in a house my whole life and still not know what switch does which

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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i don't have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service

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Think you're breathing way too loud when your headphones are turned up

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.