I like eating chicken clubs with my hands and dip them in ketchup while pretending I am a caveman

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Had a dream within a dream, just like Inception. You woke up and it felt so real you were sure of it. Then a bit later you wake up again.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

when im lying in bed in summer and im hot i just turn my sheets on the other side so its cool again

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

I look at my phone screen when i'm in an uncomfortable situation, and five minutes later i have to look again cause somebody asks what time it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Call the ninja turtles by their full names.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Drinking and dialing people I dated.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Make little rectangles on your desktop when waiting for something to load...

thumb_up thumb_down +1,097

Walking with your friend talking about everything then you and your friend walk by someone you don't know and it gets awkwardly quiet

thumb_up thumb_down -57

in the morning the first thing I do is pick my nose n eat it n then I smell my discharge

thumb_up thumb_down -136

When I'm scared in the shower sing

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

thumb_up thumb_down

When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

masturbate... with condoms and gloves because male genitalia is gross and clean up takes just a few seconds rather than minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I don't cut a conversation on the phone short just because I have to use the "facilities". I've mastered the art of being as far away from the toilet while flushing and sprinting out of the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ever dreamt of being naked and then waking up in horror.

thumb_up thumb_down -131

when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Say a word over and over until it sounds weird

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.