Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Saying an awkward word enough times so that it doesn't sound like a real word anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Waking up at 4 am wondering where your pillow went.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Think you looked good the whole day, then come home and realize you were a hot mess and nobody told you

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

thumb_up thumb_down +316

Seeing someone gettin roasted for something and then making sure you dont do the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

When I walk from one room to the next, I make believe that the room I just left exploded, and that I made it out just in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

thumb_up thumb_down -21

For some reason I really love to be hated on horsehead network, no idea why, stopped questioning it moments ago... Moral: Know what I mean?

thumb_up thumb_down -48

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,505

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

skipping back to the start of the guitar solo over and over so I can pretend I'm playing it

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +995

lie in bed, stare at the ceiling fan, focus on only one blade, and see how long your eyesight can follow it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,411

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.