Saving my cash this year and not buying into the shopping hype

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Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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I rape small children ;).

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Get angry at someone for not knowing something I haven't told them about.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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I translate (parts of) songs into different languages in my head. I try to do it as good as possible.

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If I see a shriveled, dried leaf while walking along the sidewalk I am compelled to step on it and make it crunch.

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before i go to sleep i must check the front door knob multiple times to make sure its locked

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I look at people and think, "they poop" then as I'm imagining them pooping I hurry and change thoughts before they finish.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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hearing the opening theme music to Disney or 20th Century Fox or whatever and knowing what it is before you see the screen, then wondering if you should feel proud or if your a weird geek.

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Having gay sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.