Never tell her who I was talking to on the phone and watch her nosy butt get upset

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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Stepping on people's feet when I approach to kiss/hug/say hi to them.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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looking at the bottom when i meet foreigners talking among themselves... dang. no subtitles.

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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I have one of those automatic shower cleaners. After I press the button, it beeps 15 times before starting. I have to get out my brush, get out the hair dryer, plug it in, and Turin it on before the 15th beep. Every time.

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Every new years eve I like to watch the date on my computer change all three the day, the month, and the year

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Watch the same movies over and over

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When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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get annoyed by people singing a song only to show off their brilliant voice and automatically think that they cannot sing as good as they think they can

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.