I don't read the terms of service.

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wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

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Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

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Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

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When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

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Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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Poop naked.

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when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

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When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

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I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.