Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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I carry more money in my wallet than it appears, I just tuck some away because I think that if I can't see it and have to go through the trouble to get it out- then I won't spend it.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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Ask someone "what" when they tell you something even though you heard them clearly

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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fall asleep in the shower.

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If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

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close left eye, then right eye to see how things move....

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Say a word I just learned over and over again until it loses meaning.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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get insulted when lazy people cheer you to work hard

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Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

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Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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When I'm in the shower and I hear a noise I automatically think someone broke into my house and killed my family and that they're coming for me and I will have to fight off the killer naked.

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avoid using ketchup and mayo since they make everything taste like um... ketchup and mayo... which is kind of boring

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.