I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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I eat ice creams from the bottom of the cone to the top.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Put on different accents, ad talk to my self in the mirror.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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Secretly think that Flo from the Progressive commercials is bangable.

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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Read shampoo bottle when no magazine in bathroom.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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Never using a 0 or a 5 as the last digit while using a microwave.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.