Wondering who would cry at your funeral

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fart

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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I always think I have special powers

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Close you closet door whenever you are about to go to bed.

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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I really enjoy spending my birthday alone. I never told anyone that.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Poking your eye to see the black circle at the corner of your eye

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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I'm in a hurry I press the elevator button several times

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When out I like to "people watch."

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Zoning out while looking at something and then trying to find the spot you were looking at when you're out of the zone but you can't find it.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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I like to poo while smoking.

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.