Have to suddenly poop while shopping (mainly in Wal-Mart), but don't feel like traveling far to the restroom. So I kneel down in whatever aisle I'm in, casually shove my heel up my butt, and pick up some random item from the shelf and pretend to be interested in it. Finally, when the poop is secure in my butt, I'll put the item back and continue my shopping.

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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When leaving your basement, become increasingly conscious of how you are scared of something getting you. SPRINT UP STAIRS.

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While spending the night drinking with my spouse at home, i put a diaper on so i don't have to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes. I also change it for a fresh one when i go to bed.

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When I'm in a place with two different colored tiles, I only step on the colored ones and pretend the white ones are lava or off-limits.

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I think about life problems in the shower

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Reach my hand inside the room to turn the light on before I go in.

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People looking at me when listening to my Ipod. "Can they hear my music?" *turn volume down*

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smell your socks cause you like the smell of your own sweat

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When I'm about to get in bed, I turn my light off and then run and jump into bed so that nothing gets me.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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When I'm hungry I look in the fridge, but there's nothing good to eat so I shut the door and walk away. Then I look in the fridge again 10 seconds later in the hope that new food has arrived Robbie

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Sometimes I read a whole page of text only to realize I didn't actually read any of it. Then I read it again. Sometimes this happens more than 3 times for one page.

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Walk around aimlessly when talking on the phone.

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Instead of using the twist ties on bread, I spin the bag of bread and then tuck the flap underneath.

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I always save a bite of my favorite food for last so that is the taste I have in my mouth when the meal is over.

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After learning a new word, I hear it used and written EVERYWHERE for the next week.

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Try to balance the light switch between on and off.

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I wet toilet paper before I use it to wipe.

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Whenever i hear myself in a video or something to me, it sounds way higher pitched than when I hear myself talking Is it just me?

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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pee in my pants on purpose for the fun of it

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pull the poo out of my butt when im too impatient to push it out

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pee in the side of the toilet so its not as loud.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.