I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

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"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

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I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

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At the store then mom leaves to get something then u start panicking as the cashier begins paying and you thing she will charge yo already

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before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

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When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

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Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

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I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

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sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

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Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.