Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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The ability to go one hour back in time by concentrating really hard for two hours.

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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If I am waiting on someone and they are late, I start mentally listing their faults, flaws and mistakes but feel kind of bad for doing it when they finally show up.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Own all of you hard! Moral: EXPLOSION NOISE!

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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Date your English paper so it looks like you did it earlier (rather than saving it for the last minute).

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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I stare at people to see if they have a innie or outtie belly button

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When you are doing something (kind of weird) when you're alone and then stop because there might be a ghost watching.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Turn the Microwave off at 1 second

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no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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When I'm over at my friends house and they get in a fight with their sibling, I just pet their dog.

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When someome asks you a question and you can't hear them so you say, "what?", then they say it again and you miss it so you just nod your head and say "yeah".

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.