I don't read the terms of service.

wonder if famous singers are actually the one that sings the song, or if someone else records it in the studio and then they lip sync at concerts.

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

no magazine on toilet? read shampoo bottle

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

invent arguments in my head with people to hone my debate skills for future arguments.

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

Looking at this naked with a cat on you're lap.

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

dip my fries in ice cream! sometimes in soda. It's good!

When drunk, I often grab something, lift it into the air, and yell "I GOT THE POWER!" just in case it turns me into He-Man.

Clenching your teeth subconsciously, then wondering why your teeth hurt so much afterwards.

Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

Poop naked.

when I'm walking i always try to step over the cracks with the same foot every time

When I'm watching an episode of a show that I've seen before with a friend, I say a part that is coming up ahead and act like I guessed.

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

Always coming up with a really great comeback in my head 5 seconds too late. And then playing out what would have happened if I had said it.

I freak myself out during class/assembly/family dinners that someone there can read my mind, then just on cue I start thinking about sex and have to change my train of thought before they think I'm strange. Then I go round in a circle (clockwise of course) and scream their names in my head to see if they look so I know who reads minds.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.