Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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Lay down in bed and get comfortable and then realize you have to pee.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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in my mind, traffic cones are called VLC.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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If I read that someone said something a certain way in a book I try to mimic their voice.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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penis

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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I unlike Facebook pages if they spam my wall.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I approach balcony ledges with my feet firmly planted, just in case a random person decides to come pick me up and throw me off the balcony.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.