Show up for a blind date and say DAMN, WTF! When they open the door.

I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

You remember something funny. You smile like an idiot. Everyone around thinks your weird for randomly smiling.

Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

Do an epic air drum solo while listening to Phil Colins "In The Air Tonight"

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

When I’ve got something cooking in the microwave, before actually looking to see how much time is left, I try to guess how much time is left; if I’m correct within 3 seconds on the timer, I actually feel a measure of accomplishment.

When you're all alone, practice for an interview you're bound to have when you're rich and famous and say other people's responses when they are asked about working with you.

When using the bathroom count the tiles on the floor or shower wall or read a shampoo bottle.

"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

Clicking the thumbs up or down when two of the submissions have the same number of thumbs up and think i'm the chosen one.

i run my 2 fingers across a wall like they're ninja feet when im happy.

Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

Waking up @ 4 AM wondering where your pillow went

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.