I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

I sit in a chair upside down and pretend like i'm walking on the ceiling.

I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

I praise the honesty of you all! :) I think confessing here is kind of fun...am I alone?

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

Always think good thoughts before I go to bed so that I have good dreams

"????????? ???? ?????! ??? ?? ???????? UH1 HUEY!!! ??? ?? ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????, ????????? ?? ??????? ? ??????????????? ???????!!! ?????? ????, ???????????????? ?? ???????, ?? ?????? ??????? ?? ????! ???? ???????????? ???????, ????? ??????? ???? ??? ?????????, ? ??????????? ?????, ??? ????????? ??????? ??????????? ?????!!! ? ??? ?? ????? ???? ??????? ??????????? ??????????. ???????? ????????,???? ????, ??? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ??? ????? ???? ? ??????. "

I wonder what a baby is saying when they are telling you off?

At the store then mom leaves to get something then u start panicking as the cashier begins paying and you thing she will charge yo already

before going to a party, i rehearse the conversations i expect to have with the people who will be there (even though those conversations never actually happent)

When I poop I pretend to make my wiener talk.

Accidentally make a weird noise and quickly turn around frantically to see if anyone else hear it.

When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

Whenever I leave a phone message, I feel like I'm leaving the last message I will every leave to my family in my life because I will somehow die soon. I've watched too much drama.

Sleep with pillow between legs

Scan forward to best parts of songs, rarely listen to entire song.

not be afraid of hurricane sandy

I stick one foot out of my blanket so I'm not hot or cold.

I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

Wave my hand at automatic doors just as they open pretending that I have Jedi powers

Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.