Whenever I go to a new place, I look around and carefully plan my escape route in case of zombies.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Whenever I slurp from a straw I do it a little bit at a time, slowly and steadily so people don't turn at me and give me an annoyed face.

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I purposely try to burp as loud as I can in public. –Ikka.

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I trap my farts under the covers and sniff them all up or cup them in my hand and sniff real hard to get the smell.

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Even if it's something as innocent as a simple google search, I'm still inexplicably terrified when my parents draw near and could potentially see it. I silently flip out and frantically hide it like it's porn or something. ..And I don't even look at porn :I

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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Wonder if I have a twin across the world and he makes all the opposite decisions.

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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Take a dump in the dark... Anyone but me?

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.