Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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only read the short jokes on this website

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.