I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.