Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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I scratch and sniff.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

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I make sims of everyone I know and make them have kids together.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.