- Things You Think Only You Do

When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

Only use the left earphone.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.