Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

I rehearse arguments in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

thumb_up thumb_down -57

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Believing in the kindness of strangers

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -63

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I was not born in the country I am living in now

thumb_up thumb_down -79

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

I have a phobia of incest

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

thumb_up thumb_down -131

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.