When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I gotta get down of Friday

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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Sometimes I wait a long time to pee when I really have to go. It feels good.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I have a phobia of incest

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Make up a song to yourself.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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right after I turn the shower off I jump up and down to get rid of the extra water all over me...

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.