the power to regenerate your appendix

RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

I think Frozen is an overrated film

Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Something that bothers me is when a movie sequel comes out and for whatever reason the same things from the first movie happens so they just end up making the same movie

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

i masturbate with my feet

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.