Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Justin Beiber is a woman

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Whenever on a car ride, pretend you are in a military convoy and shoot at pursuing helicopters and soldiers.

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I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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only read the short jokes on this website

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.