When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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I mean Diana Ross.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.