When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.