When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.