When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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Smoking in the shower.

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when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

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I have tried jumping in an airplane to see if I fall in the same spot

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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I think something is gonna get me at night when I walk out of my brothers roomso I look behind me and run and usually bump into a wall

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.