When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Being in the car and wondering if your parents can read your mind so you think "If you can here me cough in 3, 2, 1..." Sometimes my dad actually does it and he looks back at me and smiles. .-.

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Find myself thinking a completely random meaningless sentence as I'm falling asleep with no idea how I got to that thought.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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When I'm watching a video on YouTube, I repeatedly click on the video slider section below the video because I feel uncomfortable not doing it, ever since I realized that you can't move to different parts of the video with your keyboard without clicking there first.

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RE:" pee on the side of the toilet" you dont pee on the side of the toilet so it isn't loud. you pee on the side so it doesn't splash on you're legs as much.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.