- Things You Think Only You Do

While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

I think Frozen is an overrated film

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Picking my nose.

Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I blow my nose in my towel after i dry off. Then use the same towel the next day. lol

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.