only read the short jokes on this website

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Only use the left earphone.

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Deside to watch a video in bed on your phone or iPad and drop it on your face...

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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Sitting down in the shower

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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try to give your friends spirit animals

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.