When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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When i lie, i try not to swallow because i think they'll notice - John

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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give speeches in the sower for random awards you will never receive.

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Buying a new song, listening to it on repeat for hours until it gets old, and then never listening to it again.

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Whenever I'm home alone, I listen to songs from my culture like Ella Ella, Taboo, or Sexy Robotica by Don Omar or other fun dancing songs, super loud and dance crazy and sing along as loud as I can. Any one else?

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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Wrap up inside a sleeping bag and slide down the steps.

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if im alone and singing to music, i watch myself in the mirror

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feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

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Everytime I get new magazines or brochures in the mail I like to open them and smell them. Same with new electronics, I love that new smell.

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I give my own posts a thumbs up whenever I have the option and I know that it's anonymous.

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Drying yourself after the shower with a towl, wiping your ass dry and beeing scared when you dry other parts of your body you dont use the same part of the towl.

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When I wear a backpack I constantly check to make sure all the pockets are zipped

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Shit in the shower and pushing it down the drain with your feet

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Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I never did certain things like move to a new house or attended a certain school or college. I wonder if I still would have met the people who are in my life now. I think about If I never met my best friends, people who are like family to me. Then I get really sad because it's something I never want to imagine. Afterwards, I talk to them to cheer myself up.

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Typing what you want to put in a message, then deleting it because you daren't send it

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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"Oh, that was a messed up thought, probably shouldn't think about it again or something worse because---GODDAMN IT."

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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When I'm riding in a car, i squeeze my toes everytime the car passes a dotted line in the road or when theres a curb

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Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

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Make funny fish faces and noises in the mirror just because... Oh yeah, and fish totally make noise, right?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.