Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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I only used to eat McCoys Salt & Vinegar crisps when it was raining, because I thought they tasted better when it rains. Anyone else?

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Domina Olga shows no mercy when she ride your dick

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When I am surfing the web and i go to another website i see an ad that was about something i just viewed from previous website I wonder if a little man is inside my pc keeping catalog of every website that i visit.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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I kick my shoes off, sending them flying to various parts of the room. I then pick them up and place them neatly beside each other

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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Being all alone in your house and your mind starts to believe its haunted.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.