When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

going to bed at 10:30 pm realize i have to check Facebook go to YouTube randomly watch 2 hours of nothing, then find my self pulling an all nighter cause its 4 am and i got school.

Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

Whenever I'm holding two round objects, I try to juggle them.

Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

having cool friends, but all of their other friends are nerds.

Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

Run up all stairs two at a time, and memorize all the staircases with odd number of steps. On those, I start with one step so I can end on a two.

I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

I like to food shop between midnight and 5 am

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.