wonder y nobody facebook likes or comments on these

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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When in bed, I fold a small section of the covers in my hand to make a point and poke my fingers with it.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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When listening to headphones, I automatically start lip syncing the lyrics... But stop doing it when people look at me funny..

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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stare at the same gender for a long time and think 2 urself "am i gay?" and when they look at you, you tun ur eyes another way!

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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pretend celebrities are watching you then getting really freaked out.

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when I'm lying in bed and I really have to fart, I lift up the blanket, stick my ass out and fart into the night air to keep the stench out of my bed

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Read what other people do that you don't, and think how weird that person must be.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.