oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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When something you're sat on makes a noise that sounds like a FART. So you try and do the noise again, to make sure people are aware that the noise was the chair and not you!

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Wonder why every single kid is looking at you in a restaurant.

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whenever I lucid dream, I find that I don't do much

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suddenly get stage fright when in a public bathroom stall and break the awkward silence by pretending you just went in there to get loo paper to blow your nose.

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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when dialing a number, i hear the number itself when it is dialed

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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Sometimes I think that I'm a character in The Sims 3 and someone is controlling everything I do.

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misread dig bick

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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I sometimes feel like I am the only one like me in this world

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.