When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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I replace every word of a song with the name of my pet

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Food is always tastier the SECOND time you heat it up.

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Made after doomsday plans

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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Realise logically that a chicken egg is her period. we eat chicken periods!

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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when i listen to music in my earphones, i always pretend its me performing the song to an audience.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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I flick through the channels on my TV really fast to try and make a complete sentence.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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go though and like the posts with only one like so the person who wrote it doesn't feel alone.

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after switching lights..i go run as hard as i could do after reaching the bed

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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Go into a card shop, laugh hysterically at the funny ones, then leave. Then whilst walking down the street, you think of them again and burst out laughing. This is highly embarrassing when you're alone!

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.