Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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Try to flip the dice at the casino to my number with my mind

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Giving my dog a massage.

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Sometimes I look at people and think, "They poop."

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Take baths

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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I'm really picky about how I earn money

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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I want to suck on your penis

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Look at the time but have to look again 3 seconds later because you forgot.

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When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

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When you drop something and then drop it again as soon as you start picking it up

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when walking i always count how many steps i have taken as i go

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.