When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Vote for the other guy

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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Everytime i take of my sweater i start singing "its getting hot in here"

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Ladies ; wear the thin underwear with the really skinny jeans & pants , & save the thick underwear for the baggy jeans & sweatpants ..

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.