ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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When I'm sleeping, I turn and my bed shakes, and I wake up thinking it's an earthquake.

I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

When I get the chance, I always nick a chip from my mum's or dad's dinner.

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

While in the "try on" rooms of a clothing store, check myself out in the massive, wall mirror that's in there... and/or get nervous that someone is watching me.

when going through this website only read post that have 2 or more thumbs up

Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

Sometimes I put on my running shoes to make myself feel like I worked out but I really didn't.

Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.