I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.