Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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When boarding the escalator, I select a specific step before getting on causing a slight queue.

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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When I'm fighting with someone and I've ran out of good points, I just start making random noises.

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Thinking of a song to get an annoying one out of your head, then realizing that one's even worse.

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.