fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

thumb_up thumb_down -54

imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

thumb_up thumb_down -76

When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I hate it whenever i hear Manny Paquiao saying "you know" in every interviews he make. Am i the only one who notice it?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

thumb_up thumb_down -51

When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Everytime I look at the clock it see so say 4 20 9 11 or 11 11

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Enjoy picking off scabs, thick skin around your nails, your nails, or the thick peeling skin left from a blister. Admit it, you love it.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

thumb_up thumb_down -22

only feel the need to click one of the related sites that draws you after youve clicked 'next page'

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When I am walking at night, I see a slight shadow behind me for a second, I walk faster, I see the shadow again, I think it is some kind of scary monster and then I decide to run for my life. When I get back home, I realize the shadow is my shadow.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

thumb_up thumb_down -82

when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.