I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Have to catch my significant other when they lie, not because I really care but to prove I'm smarter

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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Vote for the other guy

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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When I Was Little I Always Slept On My Stomach Even If I Wasn't Comfortable Because I Thought It Would Be Harder For Aliens To Abduct Me.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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after having a hot shower I sometimes just sit in my room wearing just a towel

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Start to do homework online, end up on facebook :/

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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I always have excellent manners when eating around others, but when I'm alone I eat like a pig and have no manners.

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.