I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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thinking that the 'writing comments procedure' on this website is extremely irritating.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

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When you buy a car you then see that make/model everywhere.

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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Try to fly by jumping and then discover you can't

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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Pick out an object ahead of me on the footpath and guess which foot will step closest to it

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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when I get a really good idea, I write notes in excruciating detail, as I believe my brilliance will quickly disappear and I will have no idea what I was writing about ..

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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pick leaves of bushes while im walking and rip them up into small pieces

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.