fall asleep in the shower.

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Whenever I cross the road with someone I try to walk faster then them just in case a car comes it won't drive me over.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When I'm running a bath I sometimes sit and look at myself in the mirror and act out conversations with people I've never talked to or celebrities, and when I say something that sounds good I'll repeat it over and over again until I nail huge emotions on my face.

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Massive hang-over. Say out loud and promise I will never drink like that again. Next time drink atleast as much as the last time.

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I hate people who shows-off their SLR Cameras. I mean, so you're a human now because of that?

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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I think about doing evil things to people then i tell the person about it nikki

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Lying in be and pretending you are in a tv show, the characters best friend, playing it out in your mind. Or you dream while awake, and you control it, and you fly to Hollywood and become your faborite celebrities best friend.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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try to count down when the school be is going to ring.

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Think that If I leave a big knife out on the counter- or a pair of tights/belt/scarf out in view, I believe that ultimately someone will break in and kill me via the aforementioned items.................and I will only have myself to blame.

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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Admit, that most of your saved files on you´re computer have titles like: sdfdshleh / sjjs87 / sjflekeh

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.