I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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Shudder when someone bites down on icey poll or an ice cube

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Talk to my cat.

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when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.