Getting really ticked off when Wikipedia tells you the ending of a book in the introduction. And the thing is that you don't even see it coming! Ex. My Sister's Keeper is about a family struggling with its own internal problems, especially with the oldest daughter having leukemia and the youngest is the only one who may or may not save her. *name* dies in the end. WTF?

This song will not come out of my head!

you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

Take off the ends of the banana (

While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

I peel tiny strings off of cheese sticks because it's more fun and tastes better.

The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

Go on this site to feel normal.

When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.