I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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Set Fire to the Rain

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Will use delayed foot-to-ass insults on verbal bullies. You know, the kind that goes off in the persons head days or weeks after they thought they won an argument with me.

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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When listening to music on computer make sure your singing the words and act cool just incase the singer of that song and some other people you admire are watching you threw your webcam.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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Sometimes I stop typing in the middle of a sen

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.