On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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I bought a ps4 and really regret it.

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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Listen to the same songs for years on end without ever knowing the lyrics because they've been the soundtracks for your daydreams.

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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wonder who wrote these things

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chew on the side of my teeth

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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speak proper english

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.