Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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I eat ass

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being super bored at shool

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When I'm bored in school I always imagine the teacher asks me something and my response is starting to sing a song. Somewhen some of my friends sing along with me. Then the whole class sings this song. We run out of classroom into the hallways and every other pupil comes out their classroom to see what's happening. Then They all sing along with me. We run out of school and sing and dance like in a musical. Then I actually remind myself, its impossible that every student knows the lyrics of the song I'm just thinking of and get depressed again.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.