I can't trill my R's

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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When something weird happens I nod in agreement.

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Talk to my cat.

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I sometimes feel someone is watching me and speak towards it in a calming tone, only to again speak to myself telling myself im just being silly... only to turn my head and look behind me just in case.

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When on a long car ride, i tend to look out the window and imagine that i am running on the side of the car and doing flips and other types of parkour to keep up with my car...

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

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Sitting on a table at school and looking at the things u only think i do website

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Try to see nipples through body paint.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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Thinking you could bump into someone by the corner of a building (or a wall)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.