wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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I eat ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.