I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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Decide to think about important things in the shower, but continually lose the train of thought and eventually give up.

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Wish I could hang out with some people from this site sometimes.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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I can't trill my R's

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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When I was little and I saw disney's hercules I had no idea why Meg was working for Hades

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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I eat ass

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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When I'm reading a book and I come to a word that is long or difficult to pronounce every time I come to that word again I pronounce it 'manamanam'.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.