Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

wonder if the strange thing you're doing right now will pop up on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'whores-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.