Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

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when you are pooping you fart and it scares you a little bit.

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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Whenever I'm scared at night in my room I turn on music. Because the music will keep away people trying to get me. Obviously.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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try not to step on cracks on the sidewalk

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Play Minecraft

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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When you think thoughts, you think them in complete sentences as if you were saying them and in your accent.

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Pee in the shower

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Make hand gestures when talking on phone

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When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.