Every time i find an insect in my basement i grab it put it in the toilet and pee on it victoriously while its being flushed down. But Im a nice guy, and i worry about this evil hatred i have towards insects.

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Wonder what would happen if you started screaming and defecating in public.

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think that you are wasting way too much time on this website and that you could be exercising right now or be doing a million more productive things than righting about doing more productive things on things you think only you do.

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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When looking at these comments, don't like the ones with lots of comments on because you think they have too many and the others deserve your liking as they might feel left out.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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Go up/down the stairs in 10 steps exactly. Talk to an imaginary girlfriend when I'm guilty of something, and she helps me out and holds me till I fall asleep.

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Make jokes about yourself on the period: "dear god, this is the 5th day I`m bleeding and I`m sill not dead. What kind of monster am I?" ...not funny... :)

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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Am I not the one who created an imaginary BAE?

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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Everytime I have ear buds in and I hear myself breathing, I think others can hear it too so I slow my breathing or hold my breath.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

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I constantly get itches. On awkward parts of my body. In public places. And it's torture.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.