you turn the dial on your microwave until it reaches as far as it can go

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

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I love the feeling of covering my entire body in Barbisol shaving cream,shaving my cock n balls,then masturbating.have you ever done this?

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Only I CAN TYPE FUCKlNG FUCKlNG FUCKlNG AS MANY FUCKlNG TIMES I FUCKlNG WANT! Moral the friendly r*pist: FUCKlNG COOL!

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Play poly-rhythmic drum beats along with my turn signal on my car.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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you collect best whatsapp status for your whatsapp and facebook at techcloud7.org

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speak proper english

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text somebody something and if they don't reply quickly, resend that same text.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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put the volume on the TV as an even number, and feeling uncomfortable if it's on an odd number

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do math problems in my head while having sex to keep from coming

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Stand really close to the mirror and look myself in the eyes. Try to scare myself or make a really fast movement, hoping my reflection can't keep up.

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Give vocal commentary on the song I just played when I'm the only one in the car.

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.