When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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I push the door open with my stomach

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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I never feel bored

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.