Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.