fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie) Discovering your friend is a total retard (Charlie)

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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My parents are annoying.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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humiliating little girls

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.