When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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when in the car with just one parent i get very cautious about what im thinking cuz i feel like they r reading my mind

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Really really happy that resisted getting a facebook or twitter account

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Use reverse psychology on the rain to make it slow down or speed up.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.