I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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When driving along in the car, imagining crashing and another car coming into you and the repercussions of it all.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.