Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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When I'm alone with my pet, sometimes we just sit down and stare at each each other for a minute or two

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check shower for murder then pee

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Simultaneously apply pressure to my ears to make the surrounding noises sound weird Tristan J.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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Call out the mistakes I see drivers make in front of me.

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I don't leave the toilet in a public restroom until the other person leaves, so I don't have to make awkward eye contact.

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I pee in the shower. :3

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.