I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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collect kleenex boxes for the cool designs

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Normally I can do a specific task no problem but when someone is watching and I know that they are watching I screw up.

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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when i use omegle u usually say im a girl, when a guy says how long is his thing, i say 'mine too' :D

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Having gay sex

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Stepping on a concrete sidewalk square the exact amount of times as the others.

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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Almost every time someone tells me something sad I have to fight the urge to grin.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Touching that door knob three times before opening the door.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.