If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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I use my mobile as a torch and keep hitting random buttons to keep it alight.

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thinking about how you will never understand who in the world thought it was a good idea to spell "Wednesday" like that

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.