Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

thumb_up thumb_down -48

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

thumb_up thumb_down -48

See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

thumb_up thumb_down -58

When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

thumb_up thumb_down -62

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

thumb_up thumb_down -82

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Look at the toilet paper after i wipe my ass just to make sure i didn't leave anything behind..

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.