Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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check shower for murder then pee

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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humiliating little girls

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.