I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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if your behind glass or a window and you see a group outside, imagine their conversation.

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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reading thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com at the office when you're supposed to be working then checking that the guy next to you doesn't notice. and quickly clicking a different tab when someone is walking or standing nearby.

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When realizing i'm being a little bitchy, I laugh and smile right after my sentence to make myself seem a little nicer.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.