Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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check shower for murder then pee

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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humiliating little girls

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.