Tally mark everytime I take a shit.

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Play as both sides on fifa

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call someone by a siblings name.

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Have a dream about somebody being mean to me. Proceed to be mean to them in real life.

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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check shower for murder then pee

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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My daily agenda: wake up take a crap get out of bed...

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.