when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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thinking your pants are wet when you only just sat down for a long time

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.