There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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I deeply pick my nose with tweezers. It's like the relief of pooping to me.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Having gay sex

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.