I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Start to pray at night, but get bored and stop in 2 min.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Having gay sex

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.