I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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look at bins as i walk past them

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Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Text random people saying I'm pregnant

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.