Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

If I have a top comment and I see someone else does, I upvote both of ours; friendly competition.

having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

check shower for murder then pee

sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

humiliating little girls

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

Pee while setting down even if your a dude.

Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.