- Things You Think Only You Do

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

I masturbate with sandpaper

Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

I waTch 2 GIRLS AND 1 CUP AND I FAPPED THOSE BITCHES MANY TIMES! HELL YEA! /M\

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.