When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

Brake for tail-gaters

I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

My parents are annoying.

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.