When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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I think about other women when having sex

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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listen to madonnas new album

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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I always feel like i have to eat something while watching a movie that I've seen so many times.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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Every time I walk up the stairs in my own house, I feel compelled to do it on all fours.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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k. everyone

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.