Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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Read posts on this website and realize there are a lot of weirdos in the world.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Search for blackheads on your arms for hours just because youre bored!

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Close the Facebook page, after not having a single message in hours, and re open it in a minute, expecting numerous new messages......

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.