I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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I have the background on my computer a picture of some cartoon characters,and when I'm alone I talk to the screen like those characters are actually in the room. -Briarwoodninja

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.