When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Brake for tail-gaters

thumb_up thumb_down -53

I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

thumb_up thumb_down -65

My parents are annoying.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

thumb_up thumb_down -107

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

thumb_up thumb_down -6

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

thumb_up thumb_down -8

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

While going to sleep, you turn the pillow downside-up several times to find a cooler surface.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.