I think about other women when having sex

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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having cool friends, but all their other friends are nerds.

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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wen on this website go look at the most disliked

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.