Play as both sides on fifa

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humiliating little girls

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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I never even met you! Why do you care who I'm talking to?

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When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When I used to go on car rides at night I would look up at the moon and I would think it was following us.

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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Brake for tail-gaters

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Boinked my neighbor

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.