I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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Scratch my asshole and always judge it to be okay to continue my day, no matter how bad the smell.

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call someone by a siblings name.

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When you can't hear your friend, but you nodd your head and snicker, hoping it was a joke

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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fart then blame it on the guy next to me realizing theres no one near me and everyone looks at me....awkward

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When I am drinking coffee and I am nearly finished I swish the coffee to get the last of the sugar

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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When you are taking a test or anywhere , you remember something funny and you laugh randomly looking like a dumbass then pretend to cough.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.