I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Dilikes the Gangnam Style.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.