When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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Picking my nose.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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When a teacher at school leaves a line of pen on the big whiteboard, my attention can NOT be drawn from it.

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.