strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Having gay sex

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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I never feel bored

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.