When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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k. everyone

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Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.