I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Say "what?" when you know what they said, then answer before they can respond. I do it because it takes me a second to figure out what they said and so my immediate response it "what?".

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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I never feel bored

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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When in the shower dread putting the shower gel on you chest as it is freezing!!!

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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Why are the rich so friggin unhappy?

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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when you wave at a car thinking its someone you know and it ends up being some old lady.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.