When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

My parents are annoying.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Pick your dead skin then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

thumb_up thumb_down -3

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

humiliating little girls

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Take off the ends of the banana (

thumb_up thumb_down -103

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.