Look at my poo before I flush it.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

When I play Sims, I feel like God and wonder if we, in fact, are just the players in God's Sims game. Hmmmm...

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -60

My parents are annoying.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

thumb_up thumb_down -74

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down +21

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

thumb_up thumb_down +7

pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

bounce when your tip toeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.