watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Walk around downtown and spot good camping spots or sniping spots, cause life is a FPS.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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look at bins as i walk past them

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I am always SO sure the metal detector or store alarms will go off when I walk through them. –Ikka

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.