Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.