Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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My parents are annoying.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.