don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Having gay sex

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.