pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Whilst passing a mega dump or room clearer as my brother calls them I come up with songs...sometimes in spanish

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.