sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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Read something strange and funny that you don't actually do, then say: "whaat?" And lough and everyone around you just look at you not knowing why you're talking to yourself an laughing.

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.