When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Legally changing your name to Peter Jankins just cuz

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get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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When in shower, I turn the heat to max for a few minutes to warm up the whole bathroom.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.