Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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humiliating little girls

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I try really hard to come up with a funny joke on antijokes.com, then I give up and come to this website instead.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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My parents are annoying.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.