I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Put my finger over one pixel of my digital alarm clock, because I know that's the only one that will change in the next minute. Take it off. MAGIC.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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as soon as i put some mint gum in my mouth, i sneeze countless times.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.