I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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I wonder if old women enjoy sex?

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Feel the bed gets more comfortable the longer you put off getting into bed.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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Look at a guy and think that he is a good looking guy, than immidiatly try to think of something else because thats gay.

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Look at my poop before flushing

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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When the vacuum cleaner's going, I try to stay as far away from it and block the noise by shutting doors.

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Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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I hump my bed at night and pretend it's a hot model

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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I always feel chinese accents are unintelligent.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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When I walk past a homeless person asking for change, I avoid looking them in the eye and walk faster.

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never push to hard on the railing of a tall building, just in case its loose and you end up falling off.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.