laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.