Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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Try to stop thinking but then just start thinking I'm thinking

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Reading all these posts and being reminded that we are all more similar to each other than we think, regardless of whatever group each of us may belong to.

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Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I always feel as if someone is always watching me on a screen where ever I am, and every person in the world is also being watched as well

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.