recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Hate people who don't dress like you because they're not fashionable. Hate people who do dress like you because they threaten your individuality.

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.