When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.