Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

thumb_up thumb_down +14

touching something (like a crack in a wall) and then thinking to yourself that your the only person thats ever touched it..

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

blink

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

thumb_up thumb_down -44

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.