Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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When looking at a digital clock that counts down to seconds, I wait until the seconds are an even number, then I try to say each number in order twice before it changes.

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I got 12 months free xbox live gold from this website http://freexboxlivegoldcodes.org .You can also get it.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.