I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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make south park refferences every day

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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I never feel bored

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.