whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.