sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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blink

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.