trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Comment on here and wait a few days and see if I got some likes . CMOOON , You do it .

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I Masturbate Daily.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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When serving grilled steak, I always make sure I get the best one.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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Make a weird face when taking a picture with a friend, never see the picture, so you try to remake the face you did in a mirror to see how stupid you looked...

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Sometimes when my teacher calls on me in class I imagine myself saying F**** you and then having the whole class look at me in disbelief

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.