I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

make south park refferences every day

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

Scroll aimlessly through the posts on this website and for some reason, creepily stop and check the comments on the one that has the word "boobs" in it.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

I never feel bored

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

Feels my beard with my tongue.

moving your hand with objects that are already moving and pretending you have the force.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.