Poo really loud

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Think about breathing...

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Thinking about what is nothing and other deep shit when trying to fall asleep.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.