strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I save my files as "askjaskjaks" because I'm too lazy to give them a proper name.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Get excited when the captcha says something related to whatever you're posting

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.