Play with my own boobs for no reason

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.