After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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Videotape my mother in the shower.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

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Hide important things in places at home but forget later where you hid them.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.