I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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sometimes when I'm eating, I eat with the opposite side of my mouth. just to be fair to it.

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When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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blink

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.