check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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The older I get the more honest I get

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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i open the cuboard door tosee if theres anything to eat and if theres nothing there i close it and go to the fridge if theres nothing there i go back to the cuboard =)

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.