when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Look at my poo before I flush it.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Poo really loud

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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imagine a bunch of girls are watching you at home, so you don't look like a dumbass

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.