Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I see someone with similar hair to mine, I stare at them from behind and try to figure out if that's what I look like from the back.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Unable to be near my cat without petting her or talking to her.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Every time I see a pretty girl,the first thing I think is how I'd love to pin her down and tickle her.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

thumb_up thumb_down -62

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -64

eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

thumb_up thumb_down +29

realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.