I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Ur mum

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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k. everyone

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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make south park refferences every day

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.