Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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humiliating little girls

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I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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When calling someone you hang up after 3 or 4 rings because you're tired of waiting rather than it being time to leave a message.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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blink

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.