Play with my own boobs for no reason

thumb_up thumb_down -46

When your at your friends house and they run out of toilet paper, so you sit there like "what do i do now?"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Feel really paranoid until my game score is a multiple of 5

thumb_up thumb_down -58

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Mostly make fun of my best friends but never make fun of just regular friends

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

thumb_up thumb_down -70

you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

thumb_up thumb_down -72

filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -78

don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

thumb_up thumb_down -90

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.