See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Boinked my neighbor

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Leave coins on the floor in the corner when I have a party to see if there is a petty thief around

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.