Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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my favorite singer is Bles Bridges 22/07/1947-24/03/2000

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.