- Things You Think Only You Do

Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

when I go shopping I go in the store, get what I need and then I leave I don't browse.

When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

Picking your dogs booger for him/her

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

use tweezers to pull out leg hair or armpit hair out of sheer boredom.

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

Think about my life as a book when I'm in public, for example "I then walked over to my friend to say hello to him."

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.