Having gay sex

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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make those little rectangles with your mouse on the computer get so close that they are together and you cant see them and try to move to the left or right, keeping the lines together so you cant see them.

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I never feel bored

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Get extremly pissed off when everyone on youtube thinks that only guys use the website and call you "dude" , "bro" or "sir" when they respond to a comment you posted -_-

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

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At any time of day, when i'm not busy, someone you know pops into your head and you start talking to them telepathically, but not for long, then you realise that youre just plain crazy? anyone?

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.