I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.