I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

I sit up all night on the computer/xbox then when people ask if i have slept i just lie and say yes to avoid the drama.

When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

Mayada stupid

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

Multi task while your brushing your teeth and forget you have a tooth brush in your mouth.

Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.