I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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on hot summer days when I exit the shower I only dry off my legs to the point where they aren't dripping but my leg hair is still wet.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.