pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Sometimes after a long, hard day or when something bad happens I just sit down and cry in the shower.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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I always go to sleep with every single one of my stuffed animals in my arms at the same time because I think that they get lonely and sad if I pick certain ones. Then again I sometimes wonder if they secretly hate me and think I'm a weird creep for hugging all of them every night. I'm 24.

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.