Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

make south park refferences every day

Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

Go for a 10 mile run.

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.