When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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I refuse to imagine good things happening to me, because if I did, it won't come true and I end up being suck at everything.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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I push the door open with my stomach

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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thinking that everybody in the world (except me) has a device which shows them what i am doing, watching and makes them feel what i am feeling

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.