when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Being fat

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Constantly refreshing the Captcha for fear that It'll be wrong and I have to redo everything I did.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.