Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I was not born in the country I am living in now

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I was the real Stig...

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

thumb_up thumb_down +42

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

thumb_up thumb_down +24

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

thumb_up thumb_down +20

looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mayada stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

right click refresh on desktop. Repeat

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.