as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

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When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Tough but loving hands!! Mmm them calluses tho!! ^_^

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Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Feeling self conscious about breathing to loudly

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.