I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Sometimes I cant sleep without something making noise , like a fan .

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I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Only use the left earphone.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.