Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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make south park refferences every day

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.