Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

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Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.