Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

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I piss in the bed every night

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I hit the frig after sex

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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I push the door open with my stomach

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.