Say the Lord's name in vain, then say "sorry God" under my breath right after.

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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I'll imagine that I'm having a conversation with a celebrity, and either giving them advice or telling them why I hate them and calling them out on bullshit.

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Ur mum

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HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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I always walk down the hall James Bond style. Gun out, along the wall, looking around corners before I walk into or by a room.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.