When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

When eating chips I always look at each side before eating it to choose which side will taste better

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

I wonder if elections are rigged?

I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.