When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

I piss in the bed every night

whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

Stab myself on a daily basis

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

Try stick to something but fail in the end

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.