When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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I piss in the bed every night

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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When receiving instructions from people one on one, whether it's a man or a woman, I wonder what they would do if I kissed them while they are talking.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.