When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Take off the ends of the banana (

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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I hold in my shit only because i am soo occupied with my current task.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.