try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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I read the down voted posts

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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At night, everytime when i walk past that curtain lampost, it goes off.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.