- Things You Think Only You Do

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

Sometimes I toot.

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.