Boinked my neighbor

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Try tosing in the same tone and impersonate a girl voice while listening to music in my room, but then quickly start humming in a low voice when someones walking by -Ethan

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Make sure I put the deodorant top back on the correct way -- you know, so the sticker is to the front.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.