I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Poo really loud

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whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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Sometimes there is a hair in my butt and then I pull it slowly out. And it feels funny.

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make south park refferences every day

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.