Dad, what's that dark place over there? That's Chorley son, you must never go there.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Wipe my hands on a cold glass to clean my hands

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I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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Tear up when I poop

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.