When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Being fat

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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When I see someones comment has alot of dislikes , I add on to it .

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Slowly close the fridge door to see when the light bulb turns off.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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I piss in the bed every night

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.