Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

I think of doing something productive, but can't work up the motivation and end up on the internet instead.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

Press harder on the remote when I know the batteries are dead.

I piss in the bed every night

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

I hit the frig after sex

When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

I push the door open with my stomach

Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.