Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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when you are you a self flushing urinal/toilet you think it is a tiny camera and think someone is watching you so you rush to finish using the bathroom

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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Knowing and feeling that the whole world is out to get me............ And only me......... I know.......... Weird right??????

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I Think people can read my mind....."if you can read my mind nod your head or don't if you don't want me to know that you can" It doesn't work either way but yeah thats just me lol

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

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You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.