whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Be a loner at school

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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I have the idea that i'm the only one who looks at this site.

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.