I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.