Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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Mayada stupid

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Watch 30 seconds of a commercial break only to realize it's dvr'd and I could be fast forwarding it.

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Vote up your own websites posts, to make them look more popular!

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.