start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.