Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

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If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Picking my nose.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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WHEN I SHOW YOU A PICTURE ON MY PHONE..DON’T SWIPE LEFT.DON’T SWIPE RIGHT.JUST LOOK. Via: Collection of Love WhatsApp Status

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.