Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

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Think that the person driving keeps staring at me when ever they look in the mirror and I'm sat in the back.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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I always think I have special powers

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.