- Things You Think Only You Do

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

I Masturbate Daily.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.