- Things You Think Only You Do

When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

Rubbing the corners of your lips on the side of your hand and smelling it.

See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

Drink alcohol out of styrofoam soda cups on the bus and train.

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.