getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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make south park refferences every day

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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you know that when things have only one like on this site, the people who wrote it liked it

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.