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Clarksonisms
Pointless Inventions
Quoted Coworkers
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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...
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+14
Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.
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+12
whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.
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+6
Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.
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+6
Stab myself on a daily basis
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+2
Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)
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-4
Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.
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-4
Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"
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-4
Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person
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-6
Try stick to something but fail in the end
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-8
my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big
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-8
I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.
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-12
Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.
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-14
while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it
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-20
get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.
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-20
When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something
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-20
when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better
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-20
I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!
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-20
When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.
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-22
After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.
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-24
Picking your dogs booger for him/her
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-24
taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face
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-26
Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.
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-26
Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.
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-26
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Things You Think Only You Do
A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.