Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Tear up when I poop

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When i go into a public toilet and one of the cubical doors is slightly shut, I will be really quiet or slightly push the door to see if anyone is in there.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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i fap in the bathroom because its the only room i have a reason to lock the door in.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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I cant ride a bike

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.