have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Poo really loud

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I have to look at myself in multiple mirrors before I leave my apartment. Sometimes if I'm alone, I'll walk back and forth between 2 or 3 mirrors about 25 times before I'm content to leave.

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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listening to music and not realizing ur favorite song is on until the last word

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.