If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Picking my nose.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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I piss in the bed every night

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.