look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Sometimes I toot.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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sometimes when i'm talking to myself and someone walks in the room i have to make them believe what i'm saying is a song!!

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Try to think of something nice then thinks of then scariest things.

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Be a loner at school

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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I always thought Diane Ross sang '76 why don't ya babe, get out my life why don't ya babe'.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.