When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Whenever I hear someone say a word in a way that I like, I repeat it.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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I cant ride a bike

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That feeling you get where you slip on something but you save yourself just in time and your just like "holy crap, i almost cracked my head and died," then two minutes later your legs are still shaking

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.