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I mean Diana Ross.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Run the shower before you get in/ move out the way of the water to let it warm up first

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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Log onto facebook, notice a family member is also logged on, and immediately log off before they trap you in a never-ending facebook chat.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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When I'm in a car and I hear a song on the radio, I always imagine myself performing it perfectly in front of a crowd even though I know I'd never be able to do that. I've done this since I was very young and still do.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I read the down voted posts

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.