I can't piss with my shoes on.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.