When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

When reading a book where the main character has the same name as someone I know, I visualize that character in my head as that person.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

I flush the toilet if the water's green and I'm going to have a poo, so it doesn't splash me.

You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.