- Things You Think Only You Do

When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

Picking my nose.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

put your hands in your bra or pants to keep them warm when you're not in public.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.