When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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I always write b as d or d as b since I've learned the alphabet, and i hate my keyboarb cuz its on lower case every time.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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When my girlfriend ask me what I am thinking about, I tell her I am thinking of all the great things about my last girlfriend.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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When I dry my hair after showering I put a towel on my head and look at the mirror pretending I am a mighty naked sheik.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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I got a lot of high rated entries, but they dont contain Moral: This.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.