When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Do somthing only you do

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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Sometimes I toot.

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1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Picking your dogs booger for him/her

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.