When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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I was the real Stig...

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When you like your own comment or status', but then you feel kind of pathetic for doing it so you unlike it.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.