Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

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While playing a video game, narrate it explicitly in your head, e.i., stringing together absurd amounts of obscenities and scream them telepathically at your foes.

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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See my "double reflection" in 2 mirrors and then get freaked out for a good ten minutes that my usual image of myself is actually the flipped version...

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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Poo really loud

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.