Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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When you're scared of the bathroom and you close your eyes you quickly look around to check if there's a monster or something in the mirror

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if im somewhere and say i get a itchy ass,i would say to a friend whilst sctatching " i have the itchyist but whole in the world right now" jokingly. but then think to myself, i wonder if there is someone in the world right now at the same time as me who has actually got a itchyer butt lol

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I like to watch lava lamps heat up

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Go for a 10 mile run.

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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realize that no one is listening to me talk so I say something completely random to try and get there attention

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I piss in the bed every night

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Mayada stupid

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Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.