Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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Tear up when I poop

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.