Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

thumb_up thumb_down -70

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

thumb_up thumb_down +25

masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Getting secretly pissed off when people don't like your birthday post on their Facebook wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I hit the frig after sex

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Drop something down the side of the couch, say that you'll get it in a minute and then forget about it

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I never take drinks into smelly places, out of fear that the smell will somehow get into my drink and contaminate the taste.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

thumb_up thumb_down -5

in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Pull your headphones away from your ear when you're listening to music to see if it's too loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

thumb_up thumb_down -17

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.