I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.