don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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Do somthing only you do

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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Twice on two different internet super power sites, I posted sdrawkcab epyt ot REWEP eth"... ...Sadly I forgot to type MORAL under them, so they have... several thumbs ups... NERO: In a world of bithes and h0m0f*gs that never understood that my "MORALS" where pure SARCASM!... Oh, I also think I am one of the three hundred guys that gangbang your mother.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.