Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

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make south park refferences every day

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.