When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.