Sometimes I imagine that I am in a coma and all of the things of this world are not real. Then when I wake up from the coma I will be the best inventor of all time.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

When ever I'm walking up or down stairs, i always have to step on the last step with my left foot.

strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

Tear up when I poop

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.