I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When the font allows it, try to hide the cursor in capital I's.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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After watching a really good film that has a narrator, everything I do is narrated by that person in my head.

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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I use the internet to validate that weirdness is not actually weird at all.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

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I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.