I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Try to make a turd that touches the bottom of the toilet before it breaks off.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Sometimes I toot.

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.