I sniff my finger after I scatch my bunghole lol

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

I sometimes look at a guy and wonder how big their dick is.

I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

Make sudden movements in the mirror to try and catch out my reflection.

Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

Consume skin around finger nails. Cuticle too.

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

I pee on the bathroom sink everytime, because I am lazy to open the toilet, even when I visit other people, sorry friends and family =)

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

When home alone and you hear a noise getting out a gun/weapon.

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.