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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

I chew my ice cream.

when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.