Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I giggle in my head when anyone says duty.

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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I Masturbate Daily.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Wish you could delete a post if it gets thumbs down

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.