Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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strawberry flavored hemorrhoid cream

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.