Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Sitting down in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -59

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

thumb_up thumb_down -63

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

thumb_up thumb_down -63

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

thumb_up thumb_down +42

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.