Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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pee when you are dreaming haha lol

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Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.