Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I was the real Stig...

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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eat the muffin bottom because it isn't as good as the top and i want to get it over with

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Sniff or tap to a rhythm to some sort of beat I composed in my head...

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.