When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

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I think of who will I save if a killer come to school

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Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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While talking on the phone you can't think of anything to say then it gets awkwardly quiet

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Ur mum

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Being fat

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.