Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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I don't read the terms of service.

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.