- Things You Think Only You Do

Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

Blow into the shower head when I'm taking a shower to make what sounds like jet noises

Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

try to rip the top off an Oreo without messing up the cream and then if the cream comes out on both parts not wanting to eat the Oreo because its wrong.

Poo really loud

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

make south park refferences every day

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.