Sleep with pillow between legs

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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Lay in bed , and think what i could of said while i was talking to my crush or what could of happen.

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Listening to romantic hollywood sad core and feeling depressed because your single.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.