Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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make south park refferences every day

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Pretend you are turning Super Saiyan when sat on the toilet

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I was the real Stig...

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.