fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

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Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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When I am at amusement parks I look and determine which guys I could beat up and which I couldn't.

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Boy:did it hurt? Me: Did what hurt? Boy:When you fell from heaven. Me: I came frome the pits of hell! Boy: Well then...O__O

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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I was the real Stig...

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Learn how to say "I love you" in a different language, just to say it to the person you like and observe their dumbfounded expressions.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When it is raining and a sad song comes on the radio, I look out the window and pretend I am in a movie. -Cocobear

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.