don't wash my hands after using the toilet because its a waste of time

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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I gotta get down of Friday

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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Thinking epic thoughts like "Man, had a great workout today" just in case someone is reading my mind.

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Not likeing something someone posted because you have a secret crush on them and you don't want them to think you check there Facebook too much.

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try to get abs by doing the stupidest things

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Tip my couch over to dig for something I have lost and then end up finding a bunch of random crap.

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

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wipe your armpit and then sniff it to see how bad you smell

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.