Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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I was the real Stig...

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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When I get "interactive" commercials on my laptop screen, I like to "just shoot 4 out of 5 ducks" and feel like I have cheated the system.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.