At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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I chew my ice cream.

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Sometimes I toot.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Sometimes I think of doing really bad things and smirk, only to later regret even thinking of it and start questioning myself while feeling bad about it.

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

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while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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When I wake up after having a good dream I try to remember it but I don't

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.