When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a hardon and make people think it's that big all time.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

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Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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I can only brush my teeth at exactly 7:43 AM...Am I weird?

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

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When bored you watch the minute hand on a clock and try to see if you can see it move

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Kill Jb without getting aressted.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.