Hoping if I fall asleep on the couch while my family is in the room I dont have a dream about sex and wake up moaning and groaning...

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -51

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -61

I rehearse arguments in my head.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Imagin what would happen if there was a zombie invasion just at your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

make south park refferences every day

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Stare at something long enough thinking it will eventually move.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -79

click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -109

as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -117

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.