You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

Laugh when something happens to someone, but when the exact same happens to you, you say "Its not funny"

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

Sometimes, for no real reason, I'll make strange or funny noises when no one is around.

Tear up when I poop

cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

I don't know about anyone else but I really felt bad when the Lich killed Prismo in Adventure Time

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

Rub a pen tip between my fingers.

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

When there are multiple puddles on the sidewalk you try and jump in every single one of them

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.