Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

I sleep in my underpants every single night

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

Use my phone to see what time it is

You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

I mean Diana Ross.

Do somthing only you do

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.