Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Start thinking about my blinking and feel that I am blinking weird

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Hope that one day your closet will have a secret world like Narnia...

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Sometimes while texting or messaging, I enact the physical gestures that accompany what I'm saying as if it were an in-person conversation, even though no one can see me.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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i can't watch the t.v. unless the volume ends in a 0 or 5

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.