I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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Being fat

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Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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Sometimes I feel that my reflection in the mirror will stop doing what I'm doing and either jump out and grab me, start telling me about her reflected life, or give me a mission to free her from her mirror life.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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When i'm in the front passenger seat, I still move my foot like im the one driving...

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.