- Things You Think Only You Do

sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

Hold my pen or pencil with two fingers cued against my palm and two fingers sliding up the pen with my thumb in between them.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

Link gross things with porn i.e: Think of really gross things (or friends or family) when fapping to really hot stuff ( the porn becomes ruined)

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

When you're chatting with a friend while you're walking around and not really paying attention then you turn around to took at your friend and you realise you've been talking to someone you don't even know the entire time.

when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

Courtesy flush.

Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.