Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Covering the movement sensors with toilet paper on public toilets incase it's a secret camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

thumb_up thumb_down -20

get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

There's this reassuring voice in my head. She's almost like a mother, telling me that it'll be alright and that I have things to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Justin Beiber is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -26

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

only read the short jokes on this website

thumb_up thumb_down -34

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.