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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Thinking you're very popular after you have owned someone at school.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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filling your mouth with water in the shower and spitting it at the wall.

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Roll my eyes with them closed when I am annoyed with someone

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Feel bad about hurting someone a long time ago, when I was a child, and wish I could speak to that person and say "I'm sorry." Cringe whenever the thought of the incident rises.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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creating your own personal perfect partner in romance or frendship, almost like a imaginary friend (but you don't speak to them out loud)

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Sleep with pillow between legs

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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Delete the whole password when I mess up only the one letter.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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Be best friends with someone and tell them all your secrets and then they become best friends with someone else and you hope they won't tell your secrets

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Mayada stupid

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.