I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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I thought I was disgusting until I read the top voted things here. Floral: Actually pretty neat.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I have a phobia of incest

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.