start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.