Love feet. like LOVE feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

thumb_up thumb_down -66

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I can't piss with my shoes on.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -76

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -112

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.