jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Get annoyed when I click on the "popular" button and it's always the same things.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.