Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

Run faster down hotel corridors.

When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

Watch a familiar movie, and then freak out when you see a suspensful part, only to later realize that there was no point in getting worked up since you already know what happens.

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.