Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

eat curry and don't complain about its spiciness ...if you're not white

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

Kill Jb without getting aressted.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.