When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

thumb_up thumb_down -85

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -91

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

thumb_up thumb_down -117

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

thumb_up thumb_down -121

I like to watch lava lamps heat up

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

get under the covers and curl up into a ball to get warm really fast

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

looking at the last page of thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com to see how weird some people are...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

thumb_up thumb_down +16

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

thumb_up thumb_down +12

browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

thumb_up thumb_down +10

when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

thumb_up thumb_down

TV turned on just so... Makes you not feeling alone or because some other unknown (or) irrational reason.And of course, feeling guilty cause you spending energy and money but still... Most of the time you just don't care.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.