Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

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Whenever I get in the shower, no matter what, I always have to pee.

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Courtesy flush.

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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Love feet. like LOVE feet.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Fire imaginary rocket launchers at passenger planes flying overhead, then panic thinking what if it really blows up?

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.