Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Save more than once on your favourite game.

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Put the towel near the shower so that you can stand on it and not get the floor wet

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I mean Diana Ross.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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When I am making submissions to this site I sometimes accidentally put them in the comment section

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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i leave tv on when i sleep...cant close it cause i hate to hear....noices...in my bedroom that cant identify......

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.