No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.