When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Tear up when I poop

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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Sometimes I blink and act like I am taking a picture with my eyes.

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When an ice cube fall on the floor I kick it under the fridge.

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Sometimes at a red light, I like to look at the person driving next to me and if they look towards me I quickly turn around and pretend I wasn't looking at them.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.