- Things You Think Only You Do

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

Courtesy flush.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Having more dificulty thinking in your native language than your 2nd or 3rd one. Or 4th one. Or... the rest. I highly doubt that one's common.

Whenever I accidentally drop a glass or cup it always bounces the first time but breaks the second

sometimes sigh sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

sometimes when i see a cop cruising around i try and act suspicious to see if they pull me over.

When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Love feet. like LOVE feet.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

read on youtube comments with too unlikes

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.