When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I drive in the car then suddenly awake from a day dream and realize ive driven for the last 4 miles with no recollection of the journey.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

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When texting someone on the toilet & they ask, "What are you doing?" I respond with, "Oh, just chillin." LOL. -Jade

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Sometimes when I look at a clock the seconds hand ticks backwards

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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I don't read the terms of service.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.