Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

thumb_up thumb_down -72

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

thumb_up thumb_down -78

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -82

When someone wants to kill a bug, I'll get insane and catch the bug, then run out and release the bug while saying "NOW YOU'RE FREE!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -86

worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

When a tooth is very loose,i shake it with my tongue because that pain is relaxing.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

thumb_up thumb_down -102

I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

thumb_up thumb_down -112

Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

thumb_up thumb_down +33

.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When the T.V switches to commercial sometimes I forget what I was watching Noel

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Think that my ice tastes different than my water.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.