When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I lift my butt when I'm farting

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have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

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Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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not eating the ends of a hotdog.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.