i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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When your to lazy try to use the force to pick things up

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.