What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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Sometimes I walk around town and watch peoples TVs through their windows. When they see me and confront me, I try to get a conversation about the show going.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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I don't like being told what I will do or how I will feel.

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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When you're walking along at night and you see the moon, then you move around quickly,still looking at it as if you're controlling it.

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

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Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

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Sometimes I'll think about something that's so weird nobody would ever do it, and then i figure there's a big chance somebody did it at least once in history.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.