Say something in my head, but then wonder if i said it out loud and just didn't realize.

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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Constantly refresh your email page even though you know nothing will appear.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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I wonder if sport games are rigged?

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Pretend to listen to music, but just do it so nobody talks to me or i simply just ignore them.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Sometimes I toot.

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Look at adigital clock sideways when in bed while tryingto sleep and try to make the numbers look like faces

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.