When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Imagine I'm walking in slow motion when I enter a bar or club

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Find a really good joke on the internet and pretend you came up with it to make your friends think you're funny

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Have troubles sleeping when it's hot.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.