Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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i try to spit onto my line of piss while going to the toilet.

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scratch that bit between my balls and arse when it gets itchy, then carry on scratching for ages cos it feels so damn good

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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I only EVER take my watch off if I need tto put on big gloves, like cricket gloves.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.