You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

I Masturbate Daily.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.