Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

Nero the clit collector. What+ you never collected stamps, coins or something? YOUR CRIMES! WHAT ARE YOUR CRIMES FOR FUCKlNG CRIMES SAKE ETC.

Justin Beiber is a woman

Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

Write b as d and d as b or p as q and q as p. I mostly write b as d and d as b since I've learned the alphabet. Trying not to do that now

When I'm on a site that requires you to login with Facebook or Twitter to leave a comment, I click on the names of the nice looking ones to go see their pages to add them to my friends list.

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

the power to regenerate your appendix

Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.