- Things You Think Only You Do

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

When you're lying in bed and you fart, you pull the covers over your head to smell it.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

When in a public toilet, I never leave the cubicle until everyone is either out of the room or in their own cubicle.

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

when i talk to someone, and the one where i am talking with is saying a sentence very fast, am going to repeat the whole sentence in my head and then it sounds really weird.

only read the short jokes on this website

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

I throw a piece of paper in the toilet and try to "sink it" either with my "super stream wave" and if it does not work, I unleash my secret (but not always available weapon) "dept charge bombs".

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

when passing someone in a car beside you, you try to wonder where they are going just by looking at them, their clothes or their expressions

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.