- Things You Think Only You Do

When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

Whe someone buys you a gift and you think they have installed a camera into it or can somehow mentally see you when that gift is near you. Resulting in you acting strange around that it or when you are present in the same room as that gift

When I drink out of a disposable coffee cup with a lid, the opening on the lid has be on the exact opposite side from the seam where the cup is glued to form the cylinder.

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

I read the down voted posts

I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

Whenever I watch TV, the volume has to be on multiples of 5. Even if the perfect volume is in between.

Before going to bed look around the dark room and when you see something suspicious you have a look to see its not a person

I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.