When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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pick nose in car and realize people can see you when stopped at a red light

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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only read the short jokes on this website

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Sometimes if I am by myself at the house or in the car I will act completely insane and absurd. This usually involves me screaming incoherent babble, whole body twitching, making absurd faces and doing this thing where I bite my tongue and shake my head violently. If any normal person saw me they would either think I am having a seizure or currently possessed by Satan.

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Smile like an idiot while reading this site.

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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When you have the " If I'm on an elevator and it breaks and is about to crash at the bottom, and I jump up before it does, will I live?" thought.

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make south park refferences every day

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.