when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

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When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.