While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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You look over the edge of a tall building/structure, and have that sudden urge to jump off.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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in burgers, you eat until you have only a few bites left, then you eat the bun and then the insides

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I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.