make south park refferences every day

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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only drink milk from a freshly opened carton

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Go through a bunch of the boxes with the messed up letters (The ones making sure your not a robot) trying to find one you like. Then, click the refresh button and realize that the last one might have been the best one you were going to get.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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I gotta get down of Friday

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I pee in the sink so i don't have to aim

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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I have a phobia of incest

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Going to the very last pages of "Things you think you only do" with the lowest ratings and realizing that they really are the only ones who do that stuff...

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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Open the microwave door exactly when your food ends.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.