When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Start the shower so no one hears you shit bricks

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When i was a kid. I really dont care about the story of any animated film. As long as im watching it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Sometimes I accidentally move my mouth in a way where it suddenly makes a random farting noise so I immediately just make more obviously made fart noises just so people wont think I actually farted. Is that only me?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I chew my ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mayada stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down

When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down

I wonder what a baby is laughing about when they are apparently being entertained by something in the room I can't see

thumb_up thumb_down

When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I scratch and sniff.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Turn off light in bed... notice something you haven't seen before. IT'S SLENDERMAN You turn the light back on and realized it was a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down -2

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Do somthing only you do

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.