I sleep in my underpants every single night

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +16

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Stab myself on a daily basis

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I chew my ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down

Seeing an acquaintance who you would feel awkward talking to in a public place, knowing they see you as well, and pretending not to see them, while hoping they pretend not to see you as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Do somthing only you do

thumb_up thumb_down -8

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Waiting alone inside a public toilet for someone to come in and open the door.... so you don't have to touch the handle!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When I'm laying in bed in the dark and I close my eyes for a while then when I open them again I quickly scan for a light source just to make sure I can still see.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.