Just ocassionally stand up and pontlessly walk around the house when using the computer. Anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I speak dialogues at home to myself that I could possibly have with people in hypothetical situations. Km

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Listening to music walking through town and feeling like you're in a music video

thumb_up thumb_down -32

the power to regenerate your appendix

thumb_up thumb_down -32

For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

If I'm walking with or behind someone I always match their footsteps

thumb_up thumb_down -36

When at a restaurant you practice your order inside your head, then when you actually have to order you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Instead of reading the sunday comics, I read the nutrition facts on the cereal box.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I say that girl's name I have a crush on right before I go to sleep because I want her to be the last thing I think about, and then wake up realizing that it was super creepy... Only to do it again the next night

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

thumb_up thumb_down -42

walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

forget to breathe while listening to ear buds too loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

thumb_up thumb_down -46

(1) In the middle of a conversation, I start to think of all the crazy stuff I could do even though I would never want to i.e. punching them in the face, making out with them, flashing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

thumb_up thumb_down -46

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.