When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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Have a big twitch, freak out when you are dosing off in class but suddenly wake up.

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I hit the frig after sex

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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brush the dandruff from my eyebrows

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.