I lift my butt when I'm farting

If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

Eat everything inside my burgers first then i eat the buns.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

I have shown up for a first date in a friends POS car instead of my own to see if she is too materialistic

Bored. Open refrigerator. Nothing to eat. Open it again five minutes later.

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

Play my music so low in public that I can hardly hear it in my headphones for fear of others being able to hear what I'm listening to.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

I have autofocus in my eyes.

When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.