Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Courtesy flush.

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i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

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Count the number of times someone knocks on a door on television.

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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Never step on manholes, because I'm afraid to fall in.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.