If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

I hit the frig after sex

If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

While trying to sleep I obsess over the little red LED on the TV set which I can't even see unless I lift my head from the pillow.

Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

Dutch oven myself when I'm lying in bed trying to sleep

when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

when i have a head or toothache...i hit it harder thinking it will stop or get better

I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

make sure you hit every crack in the sidewalk evenly. slowly over time, you discover that you found an awkward walking pace to match the obsession.

When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

I used to peep when my relatives are watching porn, back when i was a kid. After that, i feel like i wanna pee.

I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

I used to eat bath bubbles

I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.