when you pick up something you think is going to be heavy and its like you suddenly have super strength

trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

When i think about something hilarious that happened previously and laugh about it days later at the most innappropriate time.

Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

i masturbate with my feet

Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

Sometimes at night, I find myself imagining people I know saying my name, trying to get my attention in my head. They won't stop until I respond out loud.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

When the wind is blowing like crazy, I pretend I am the god who controls it.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.