Spread my butt so poop comes out easier.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Toss something across the room toward the place it belongs, get excited when it lands upright/ perfectly in place, then immediately regret you weren't recording it.

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I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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Think long and hard about something but then realise you don't care

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Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

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When I am making toast I spread the butter or jam with a spoon

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Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

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When I haven't looked in a mirror for a while, I worry that I look awful, and when I get to a mirror, I'm like "Oh yeah, that's what I look like".

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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When something funny happens think of it a couple days later than laugh,everyone then looks at me weirdly.

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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shit corn, even though i havent recently eaten corn.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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I read the down voted posts

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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When I'm drinking something, I slosh the glass back and forth a long with my head to try and get what I'm drinking into my mouth.

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Listening to more obscure music in a public place and turning it up in hopes that someone will ask you what you're listening to and you can tell them about it/open their minds.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.