Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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Burp, and then automatically say burp afterwards.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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wait up to 14 days just to find the opportunity to use one, really good, joke.

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I sometimes watch entire movies with the sound off and a good album playing.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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I think some songs would be better if they didn't put a rap in with them

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When at Burger King, McDonalds etc. I always finish the drink before the food so that I still have the taste of the food in my mouth when I'm finished.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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when you're in the car, look outside and count every single lamp-post until the car stops

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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I always have to watch the credits of a movie even, though everyone else has left the theatre and there are people cleaning up the seats, which makes me think, they think i'm crazy.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.