Sometimes I toot.

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Random strong urge to squeeze immensely cute pet.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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I mean Diana Ross.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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I like to watch people and imagine different stories that could explain why they're doing whatever it is that their doing.

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Sometimes hold a piece of chocolate between your fingers until it melts then lick the yummy gooeyness off your fingers

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sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.