Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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poke fun at somebody and pray for forgiveness the following night

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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I Masturbate Daily.

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Only use the left earphone.

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Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Being fat

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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When you're walking and think of something funny and start laughing, but you don't want people to think you're weird, so you pull out your phone and pretend you're texting.

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I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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that time where you open the fridge door and stare at it for like 10 min then close it and walk away?

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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when you're walking down the streets and you listen to your iPod, you pretend you're part of the music video for that song and when no ones looking, lip sync to the lyrics, as if the camera man's filming you >.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.