I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

How funny would it be if plants were trying to kill us but they move too slow to get us

Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

When I'm at home alone, I feel like people are watching me through my windows, so I act completely civil.

while I am sitting on the toilet I play with it and waste the toilet paper and of course i just keep flushing it

when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

Before going to the bathroom, check behind the shower curtains for serial killers.

when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

Help my dogs eat their dinner....I think the whole time, "If they only had thumbs".....

Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

I wonder if elections are rigged?

Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

I still put my thumb in my mouth, BUT only because I like the feel of putting my eye lashes under my fingernails and my thumb inconveniantly fits in my mouth. Now I know I'm the only person in the world who does this. I'm trying to drop the habit. But it feels so GOOD!

wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

I refuse to take dump with the shower curtain closed. I know someone's behind it...

Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.