Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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Pee in the garbage at night when I don't want to wake the whole house up.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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When in the shower hit the plug like a bath then just sit there for a few minutes as the water fills up.

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When I need to poop in a public toilet, I poop to the side so there's no plop.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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I wake up right before the "sexy" part happens...

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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My brother (who is 2 years younger) and I have our own language, consisting of movie quotes and silly stuff we made up when we were little. We speak it with abandon when we're alone, and try as hard as we can to suppress it when we're with a friend. But sometimes some of it slips out, and the friend looks at us like he's the guy who isn't in on the joke; I always get the feeling he or she thinks the two of us are crazy. By the way, if you're the third person in company with two close siblings who are speaking their own secret language, don't ask them to explain or look at them like they're crazy. They're not nuts, and you won't understand, even if they try to explain. Just let it pass.

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Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

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When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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If I'm at work and have to poop, when I get in the stall I look under the opening at the bottom for any other feet in the other stalls to make sure I am alone. I always think what if when I do that someone else does it at the same time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.