Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

i masturbate with my feet

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.