Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

Get scared of the dark while in bed, so you make sure all limbs are tucked nice and tight under the covers. Once done, you now feel safe..

When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

look for old friends on facebook to see what they are up to now

Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

I hit the frig after sex

Thinking, "What is wrong with this generation"

I sometime's wonder if other people can see and feel everything I can but are just in my body too judge me.

Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.