No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Watched the woman in black then go to bed then suddenly a woman in black comes in my room oh wait it is just my mum saying good night

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Thinking your life is a movie...

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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while you put your t-shirt on, you get frightened that someone's watching you behind your shirt so you try to put it on as soon as possible.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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Put my hands together the 'other' way

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The older I get the more honest I get

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accidently sleep on my arm and it falls asleep

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Wipe the salt off your hand on your right pant leg after eating salty fries from fast food restaurants.

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Having the TV turned on when using my laptop or else the silence will make me feel like someone is in my house trying to kill me.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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Doing something, and someone asks you what you're doing, and you realize you can't remember. Then they walk off and the instant they're gone, you remember.

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When sitting or laying down, tell yourself to get up in your head but see how long your body can resist your commands, and end up yelling at yourself to move in your head while still sitting/laying down.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.