- Things You Think Only You Do

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

i get an headache when i each cheese. but i don't get one when i have pizza or cheese and onion crisps

I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

Picking my nose.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

Hide your I pod when your parents walk in at 12pm and then go back to what ever you were doing when they leave.

i masturbate with my feet

I have autofocus in my eyes.

Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

Everytime aplane is flying low you think it's going to crash right in front of your eyes

stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.