Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

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Ur mum

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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get a really delicious smelling soap or candle and feel sad when you remember you can't eat it.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Courtesy flush.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.