Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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i masturbate with my feet

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.