turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Try to do things while waiting for the microwave.

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Guessing on those annoying Captcha things and then getting unnecessarily angry when it tells you you're wrong.

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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When alone at home turn on all the lights before it gets darker.

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Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

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When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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I used to eat bath bubbles

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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I sometimes start thinking about very non sexual things in the middle of masturbation, like what I'm going to wear the next day.

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When ever i watch a movie with my parents i hope to god there is no nudity or awkward sex talk

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Eat the last bowl of ice cream. Then 6 hours later, you wish you hadn't. (sometimes even open the fridge and check whether you actually ate it or not)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.