i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -59

HEY! YOU! Yeah you! I can speak you only, NO! Nobody else here! Yeah you only you, by the way you are a dirty piece of s**t you mothe* F**ker! YEAH ITS YOU! I HATE YOU! EVERYBODY HATES YOU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *end of special message just for you*

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

thumb_up thumb_down -61

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I have autofocus in my eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

When I am bored I look at things and wonder about the people who made them, and at what time they were made, etc. Like whether my Bic pen was made in the morning or the night. Savy.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

thumb_up thumb_down -65

i see things on this site and am secretly glad im not weird like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -67

sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Love to check my astrological compatibility with my favorite musicians.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

thumb_up thumb_down -83

I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

thumb_up thumb_down -87

I was the real Stig...

thumb_up thumb_down -95

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

thumb_up thumb_down -103

laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

thumb_up thumb_down -111

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

thumb_up thumb_down -111

when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

thumb_up thumb_down -129

If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.