I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Before I meet someone I've never met before, I think of stuff to say or do to prevent it from being awkward, but when I finally meet them I do none of the things I thought about doing.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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I Masturbate Daily.

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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I love to garden and I love flowers. I refuse to have a window box because I don't want those creepy Sesame Street twiddlebugs to live that close to my house.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk and uninsured and killing innocent legal people or injuring them for life and leaving them in medical debt.

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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when im lying in bed and fart i bring the blanket up to my nose and smell it. And nod in approval..

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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laugh whenever I see an infomercial where the hosts glorify their products to the point where it seems like they have found Jesus it is hilarious.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.