Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Leftovers are better than the actual meal ;)

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Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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when you hear "tartar sauce" you think that it's actually made from tartar -MATT

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Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

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I have to make a breathing hole for fresh air to come in when I am laying under a hot blanket.

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Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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putting your hand in the water in the back of the toilet and thinking its gross toilet water and get grossed out

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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Sometimes I wonder if my life is a dream and oneday I'll wake up as a newborn baby

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I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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At work or in public and I am wearing snug pants I think sexy thoughts so I'll have half a harding and make people think it's that big all the time.

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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While in the shower, after ive used soap and stuff i turn the water to cold and i pretend im on fear factor and close my eyes so i cannot see what i am trying to get while crawling through freezing cold water

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When theres a car just like yours right next to your car in the parking lot you almoat always gravitate to that car instead. It's the worst when there people in the car and you keep trying to open it.

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When you cringe as you walk out of a store because you're paranoid the door will beep...

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.