Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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i masturbate with my feet

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I'm watching something interesting on TV, sometimes i realize they I'm making a weird face so i make sure that i make my face go back to its normal position. This way, my face won't get stuck like that

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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When I listen to certain songs,it makes me feel awsome :D I listen to alot of LinkinPark -Briarwoodninja

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I have a phobia of incest

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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If I get lost while driving, the first thing I do is turn down the radio.

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When you're bored or alone, you think of an argument you had with a friend recently, then think of all the things you should've said and get all powered up inside, but then you realise it's too late -_-

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When someone starts waving and saying hi then I start waving and saying hi even though I have no idea who it is only to realize they are actually waving at someone behind me.

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Sometimes I get annoyed when I realize none of my friends ever eat vegetables or drink anything but sugary soda`s and are somehow as healthy, sometimes even healthier than me.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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I worry because I keep wondering why I worry.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Mayada stupid

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.