When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

I ship Bolin and Korra as a romance and a bromance. Am I weird for doing this?

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

make south park refferences every day

When passed by a very attractive girl in the street, turn around and look after her and/or follow her to the next street corner, in order to grasp more of her beauty.

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

Think that when you're reading something or watching tv some people somewhere are knowing what your watching or whether or not you understand what you just read so you don't wanna reread it to risk looking stupid.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.