When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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I am a masculine guy but in private I listen to very sensitive songs. ie: careless wispers

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Sometimes, I wonder why god or the big bang ever existed in the first place and why there is a universe in the first place ... And it makes my brain hurt!

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When in a outhouse I get scared that I can't unlock the door. This one time in the winter the lock froze and I was almost stuck

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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Be a loner at school

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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get a new *to you* car, and suddenly every other car on the road is the same make/ model..... hey look! an outback!

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Wake up after a dream. About a day later you think about if it was real or not.

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Mares really turn me on, so I download "bad stuff" Ironically though, I worked at a farm last summer and realized there is nothing more disgusting than reality. Still mares turn me on... If on video.

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Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

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Sometimes I find myself staring at the television only to realize its off.

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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I asked telemarketers for their home number so I can call them at home and disturb THEM while they're relaxing with THEIR family

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When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.