Use the massaging shower head on my anus to power blast the poop plaque away

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Sitting down on the toitlet to pee (being a male). It's so comfortable when you're tired. Also: Wonder if there's a female version of this, where girls stand up to take a piss. Just curiosity.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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Say something smart in class, then worry your friends will rip ony uo for it half way through saying it, so end it by saying "or something like that."

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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Love the natural smell of my dog's paws.

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When no one is around, kick a push door open to feel like a badass.

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Getting over excited when you hear a song you like on the radio, even though you have it on your Ipod and can listen to it whenever you want.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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always get sports injuries, never get any attention from them

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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When I'm in the car I imagine I'm Superman flying along next to the car, whipping under, over and around traffic signs, trees, and fences. Sometimes I then fly up above the traffic a little. Then I get worried I will cause a traffic accident because people will be watching me instead of the road. I've done this since I was a kid. I'm 45 now and I still do it! Sometimes I'm Spider-Man, swing and jumping from truck to truck, car to car to keep moving fast along the highway. And lately, sometimes I do the Superman flying thing, but as Iron Man.

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Trying to figure out what form of suicide would hurt the least.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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turn the cover of a magazine around because i have a weird paranoia that the government slipped in tiny cameras on the eyes of the person in the cover.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.