I watch American football with the sound down low because the announcers are always trying to tell us that we didn't see what we just saw when the referees make bad calls

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wipe all the water off my body (predrying myself) before i get out of the shower, and dry myself with the towel

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Accidentally scratching a surface and then scratching it again with the tops of your fingernails to even it out.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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I cover the mirror on my bedroom door with a sheet at night, because I think the shadows casted in the mirror are gonna get me.

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When a book is boring, i will think of my favouite song and then i will start singing the book, like i will look at the words and ligit, start singing them in my favourite tune~im so weird

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Drool a lil bit and continue eating...

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Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

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Try to find the perfect stride length so you don't have to walk all weird to avoid stepping on a sidewalk crack. Fail miserably but keep walking weird.

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Going to sleep during class thinking that you've written down all your notes, until you wake up and realize you did nothing.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Making gang signs out the window when your parents let you ride in the front seat

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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Panic when your car alarm goes off while you are going to get in because you suddenly look like a criminal.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.