No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

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Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm actually in a coma and that everything is just a dream and my parents are standing over me watching me and wishing their daughter was awake

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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getting furius wen ppl hav bad speling n grammer

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Whenever I finish reading a book, I feel a great sense of achievement.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Use the letters on my phone to make words to help me remember important numbers

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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sometimes *sigh* sometimes I-I-I-I feel like the third or fourth most useless invention! Moral: BUAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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Picking my nose.

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Say "Up and Down" for "Left or Right"

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send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

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Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

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Whenever I'm outside playing a sport or something I pretend I have a tv show and I'm giving the audience a tutorial on how to do whatever I'm doing.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.