check behind the shower curtain before taking a piss xD E E S

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Sometimes I worry that my life is just someones dream and that I'm not real.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Trying to do things before the microwave beeps .

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Wondering if your life is a TV show, and people are watching what you do.

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Anytime I walk in anyplace with cracks in the ground (tiled floors, cement squares, etc.) I do my best to avoid stepping on cracks in fear of something happening if I do.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.