I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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when you've done everything you wanted to do on the internet and stop and just stare at the screen.

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I see something glittery, someone tells me not to pick it up because I'll glitter all over myself, I pick it up anyway and glitter all over myself.

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I have an imaginary therapist. I talk to him in my head and he actually gives me really good answers.

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When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

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(I have made this mistake mostly when I'm at the movies) When the cashier gives me the ticket and says enjoy the movie because I am so used to people saying have a nice day I say you too!(FACE PALM)

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Thinking ambient thoughts while fondling myself into a semi hard-on.

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You question gods existence and evolution but then quickly tell herself hes real so you don't get struck with a lighting bolt

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When someone close to me sadly passes on and later when I am listening to the radio if I hear a song that sounds suitable to that moment I kind of make that our song if that makes sense to any of you

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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Taking your headphones/earbuds off a lot to see if your music is playing loudly. Or to see if other people could possibly hear it

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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In the shower i let water run down my hands so it looks like i'm shooting water out of my fingers.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.