Justin Beiber is a woman

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Right before I go to the dentist I brush my teeth.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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When a passneger in the car, I sing songs in my head and hope the song is in time with the signs and streetlights as I drive past them.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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When A situation Doesn't go how I wanted it to go, It annoys me so much I sometimes shit in my hands and clap.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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I'm a guy and I like to wear swimwear as underwear

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Waiting with a friend the microwave countdown finish and when comes to 0 shout "Happy New Year!" and we hug each other

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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I sometimes wonder if the world is even real.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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If people knew what I am really thinking about while they are talking to me... YIKES!

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.