Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

When I see lost posters of native parrots I always wonder how could I find 1 in a million

I get really annoyed by the constant audience laughter in some tv shows even when nothing funny is said

not eating the ends of a hotdog.

Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

Ask me if an outfit makes you look fat? I'll say VERY!

whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

Show all your friends this website to prove your not as strange as they think you are.

fap

everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

Pretend you and your classmates are in a Hunger Games scenario.

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

You feel like someone can read your mind so you try not to think about stupid stuff.

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Only use the left earphone.

Take pieces of loose hair and keep it in a plastic bag in my wallet so if I ever get killed and my ID stolen, my body can still be identified.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

Sitting down in the shower

Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

Thinking your life is a movie...

try to give your friends spirit animals

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.