feel like im being watched turn my head sideways and see someone suddenly look away.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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whenever I use a public stall I pretend Im not there to avoid unwanted attention

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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Pretend like i'm having a conversation with someone talking to somebody on a phone, and randomly say something to go with what the person says.

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getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Hate when I can't sleep and the sun starts to come up and I hear birds chirping and i get worried and just realize that I should be happy that it's a new day and to relax.

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Being stuck in a traffic jam and wishing I could just apparate

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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When I post a picture on a Horsehead Huffer site that I made on Microsoft Paint, and it ends up being one of those that never load, I go back on Paint and save it again. Then I repost it, and it works.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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sometimes when i wipe my nose a booger will get on my hand then ill get to lazy to get it off and wipe it under my chair.

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I hate it when people assume I'm smart just because I don't speak much and I wear glasses.

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I Never read the Terms of Service but click the box anyway .

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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I get mad at women because they menstruate and that's gross. I don't judge one woman individually for it, but I'm disgusted with the whole gender, which leads to being almost disgusted with myself for being attracted to them.

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Watch peoples body language and see if they're on the same pace of thought as i am and then try to speed up my thinking to pretend or act like I am realizing something they are not.

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.