- Things You Think Only You Do

Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

I often try to visualise and merge my faces with various girls i could potentially fall for, just to assess how our future children would look like.

I used to think that if the earth was completely smoothed flat and you had a really powerful telescope if you looked through it you would see yourself looking through the telescope.

Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

I hid money in a jar behind a brick in the house I lived in and forgot about it. I've since moved to another state but I didn't remember I left the cash behind until years later.

When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

Think what would I be doing if I was someone else

Courtesy flush.

Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

Stopping the microwave at 1 second because it's late and you don't want to be loud.

Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

Picking my nose.

I rehearse arguments in my head.

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

Looking up your teachers on facebook just to look at their photos

Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

I play out romantic scenarios with myself when I'm alone. We're talking full-blown just straight up talking out loud- to myself, of course. It's not that I'm lonely or anything since I did this when I had a boyfriend anyway (just to clarify, it didn't end because of this XD.) I really just feel like doing it because it's really friggin' entertaining. If you've never done it, well... it's basically like being in a really crappy, low budget soap opera, with a plot that doesn't make any damn sense, staring you as every character and the audience. That's basically the only way I could describe it lol.

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.