Pretending I'm on my cellphone in public.

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You see someone do something cool and imagine doing it in front of all your friends

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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I like to go out without shoes on hot days and play the floor is lava

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Sometimes when someone says something to me, I will hear them perfectly clear, but I will instinctively say "what?"

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If someone high fives me on one hand, I need to high five the other one too, or I feel uneven.

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Write something down here so that it seems like you think its normal when your actually really paranoid that its not.

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Still sitting on the toilet 20 minutes after you're done crapping... you're not alone.. -Professor.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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have fake conversations that might happen in the future...so ur prepared

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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not be afraid of hurricane sandy

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When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.